THIRST

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Original Title: Bakjwi (Bat)
Year: 2009
Director:  Park Chan-wook
Writer: Jeong Seo-Gyeong, Park Chan-wook
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0762073/
Genre: Horror

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synopsis:
Beloved and devoted priest from a small town volunteers for a medical experiment which fails and turns him into a vampire. Physical and psychological changes lead to his affair with a wife of his childhood friend who is repressed and tired of her mundane life. The one-time priest falls deeper in despair and depravity. As things turns for worse, he struggles to maintain whats left of his humanity.

Having recently seen this film in the theater, and not initially planning to review it (as with my review of Paranormal Activity a couple weeks ago), this review will probably differ a bit from my norm. Namely, you'll not see my always incredible, entertaining, deftly snapped screen captures, but instead some stills that I blatantly stole from other websites.

Hey, I need some sort of crutch for my writing, and images are the best way I know how without having a monkey in a tuxedo read the review to you.

So this is my first review for Kang-ho month!

Song Kang-ho plays the devoted priest Sang-hyeon mentioned in the synopsis. He is constantly called upon to issue last rites and pray for terminally ill patients in a hospital near his monastery. Sang-hyeon struggles with constantly seeing so much death, and wants to help in some other way. He volunteers for a vaccination trial in some African country for a disease which causes those inflicted to cough up blood, be covered in boils, and seemingly suffocate. No man ever lives ones infected, and Sang-hyeon is no exception as he dies a pretty gruesome death. He is given an accidental transfusion of vampire blood, however, and he is brought back to life.

This sequence sums up much of what I felt about the film. The moments leading up to Sang-hyeon's death are slow and quiet. A doctor explains to him what will most likely happen once he is infected with the virus, and then we see it happen. Park Chan-wook is very good I think in these scenes, as we cringe and feel the stress despite everything feeling so calm. There is a scene with blood pouring from Sang-hyeon's small woodwind instrument that is very jarring.

But on the flip side, despite the well handled scenes and imagery, there are story elements that feel a bit disjointed. It was difficult for me to buy the priest's motivations for taking part in this experiment which he knew would lead to his death. And I'm not sure if I missed it, but I am pretty sure that they never explain where vampire blood even came from or why this team of doctors may have had it. It made Sang-hyeon's "resurrection" feel a bit forced.

As I said, this is in a way how the entire film unfolds. There are some great scenes and some fantastic imagery, but at other times the pacing feels sluggish or just off, the story gets disjointed, and motivations are glossed over for the sake of a little more shock.

Kang-ho is solid as the priest, but at times also a bit underwhelming. I don't think this was a fault of his, but rather how the character is written. There are moments that are very interesting as the priest is dealing with his new vampirisim, but there are other times when he just "does" and it begins to seem very out of character at times. All the while, Kang-ho keeps his calm demeanor so there's not much to go on to figure out the character's intentions. I think it could have been much more interesting had Chan-wook delved much farther into the whole priest struggling with this evil aspect as opposed to focusing on his gory relationship with Tae-joo.

Tae-joo (Kim Ok-vin) ends up being a more interesting character than Priest Sang-hyeon because she starts as a frustrated young lady forced into a pretty mundane and near-abusive lifestyle, and as a result undergoes drastic changes throughout the film. Sang-hyeon knew Tae-joo as a child, and as a vampire now has trouble resisting being around her sexually. The initial moments between the two are done very awkwardly, but in a good way, as they both learn about one another as they come out of their respective shells.

But again, this dynamic gets lost in the shuffle of the film as much time is spent instead on us watching vampire acts, seeing some gore, and getting some very slow paced character development. There are some fantastic scenes in there: Sang-hyeon feeding while lying on a hospital room floor, a "haunting" of sorts from a very wet and snotty apparition... but ultimately the pacing overwhelms them all and they become just a collection of cool moments for me instead of continuing to press themes that are touched upon then forgotten.

I do not want to give some big plot elements about the story away, so I'm not sure how far I can take the discussion. There are definitely bright moments in this story, but at times I really just thought it dragged and it felt very long (2 hours, 13 mins) when all was said and done. There are also some humorous moments in there which creates a change of pace.

I think with some slower scenes edited down, the film could have been better, but I really believe what could have made it a great film was really focusing on how a priest would deal with becoming such an embodiment of evil. As is stands now, I see Thirst as what could have been. It's like a really awesome film wearing an average film's disguise.

I enjoyed it, but wanted it to be so much more.

I'd recommend seeing it, particularly those fans of Chan-wook's work. I did not enjoy it as much as I enjoyed his film Oldboy for instance, another slower paced film, but the images here will linger with you.

Score: 6.75 / 10

EL VIOLADOR INFERNAL

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Original Title: El Violador Infernal (The Hellish Rapist)
Year: 1988
Director: Damián Acosta Esparza
Writer: ?
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0368410/
Genre: Horror

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synopsis:
A criminal is executed in the electric chair, but some a dark queen brings him back to life, naming him her favorite son. The criminal is now indebted to the demoness and must murder and rape and mark the bodies with a 666 as an offering in order to bring himself power and pleasure and to provide the demoness the same pleasure.

Filthy

This is one of the first films I chose to watch and review for my theme month, but I have been saving it this long because it just seemed so ridiculous. The film is sparse in many areas, but it is a fucking mean spirited story that really doesn't leave you with a pleasant taste in your mouth. Well, not exactly...

The synopsis follows the plot pretty closely. Like the film I watched at the beginning of the month Intrepidos Punks, this film really lacks a strong central plot in favor of a loose narrative that strings together some pretty horrific shit that our main character gets into.

Carlos "El Gato" (Noé Murayama) is being executed as the film opens. As the room empties and we see him sitting there all sleepy faced in his cozy chair, in pops a Vegas inspired Charo look alike with wind blowing through her feathery headdress, using her lazer eye beams of doom to bring Carlos back to life. She makes him promise to pretty much rape and murder and fuck everything up he can find, and to do a lot of drugs, and she will get pleasure out of it as well.

OK, now we're cookin!

Wow those special effects are "special"

And that's just what he does. To be a chubby older guy, he sure moves quick! Twelve hours after his reincarnation, Carlos is already shaking up with some dude, shooting heroin and doing blow. I thought this was a really odd choice to have him start off with a guy, but hey, whatever works. Carlos is an equal-opportunity violador.

Hey, at least the presence of a homosexual character let's us get even trashier when the police inspecting this scene later on get pissed at the "faggots." This movie is something else.

Carlos forces his newly found gay lover to shoot up a shitload of smack despite his protests, and lover immediately thinks he is dying. Carlos gets pissed at him, beats him up, stabs him a few times, then buttfucks him while he is dying.

Yes, you read that correctly.

This character has no qualms about continuing his rapey ways after his victim is dead.

Oh, let's not forget that he carves a crooked little 666 on lover's ass when he is done and leaves him broken and bloody with his shorts around his ankles over the arm of a chair. Classy!

And so we continue with Carlos' adventure as he plows through everyone he sets his eyes on. The set up is usually the same with Carlos providing some way neat drugs, Carlos getting pissed when the freshly drugged victim won't accept his Lord or some shit, Carlos stabbing/raping/stabbing them.

Vegas Charo shows up occasionally as well to remind Carlos of what he is doing, but it's really just an excuse to show off her wardrobe methinks.

Rinse and repeat.

There is a storyline that Esparza tries to shoehorn in there with the gay-bashing detective, but they really have almost zero influence in the overall story. I really think Esparza just did not know where to take this movie after having his "great" scenes with Carlos, and didn't want to just have rape scene after rape scene, so of course we need a "positive" force trying to stop the evil. The detective's acting is very hammy with his gravelly voice and fake Dirty Harry style attitude.

Esparza essentially brings nothing to the table in his direction and shooting of the film. Lines are delivered awkwardly which I am sure is just as much the fault of the writing and direction as the shit actors, and again the thread connecting everything is about as thin as you can get. The final "twist" at the end is very transparent and cheap, but after sitting through some brutal storytelling, I guess it needed to have some sort of different ending regardless of how novice it may be.

All the acting is pretty fucking horrendous. We even get an appearance by Princesa Lea! Remember her from WAAAAAY back in Intrepidos Punks? Well, apparently she likes showing off those casabas of hers as she does another embarrassing performance looking like Dee Snider once again. I'm pretty sure she made my dog growl again also.

There was a first for me when Carlos threw Princesa down a flight of stairs... until today I can say that I have never seen a TOPLESS FEMALE STUNT DOUBLE. I'm sure I have seen body doubles, but never a topless woman with tits far less perky (fake) than our actress crashing through a glass door then tumbling roughly down a flight of stairs.

Mexploitation Month is a month of firsts for everyone!

The look and feel of the film is verrrry cheap. While fake blood seems to be obtained quite easily, there are other effects in there that would have felt dated in the 1950s. We already covered the eyebeams, but Carlos actually adopts this ability also. He can make people and things fly through the air (they swing around obviously on a wire), shit explodes in a shower of sparks, and even fires start. They do the classic "stab off to the side" move when stabbing people except for a few closeups of a knife entering an unidentified mass.

Carlos' violence and rapes do not look all that real either, but it still creates some uncomfortable viewing. Regardless of the realism, having this creep grunting and humping with someone screaming no, no, can definitely be unsettling for many viewers. I would still say viewers uncomfortable with scenes of rape and general misogyny should tread lightly with this film.

the film is pretty much a complete mess, but I suppose that is a good thing because with any amount of realism, this film could very well have been completely over the top poor taste.

As it is now, it's just the diarrhea at the very top of the clogged toilet bowl threatening to run over the sides.

I can't say I disliked the film, but at the same time I think I have desensitized myself even more this month, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. It's poorly written, directed, acted, and features shit effects and just excuse after excuse to show big breasted women be brutalized.

But if that's what you want to see, this will be right up your alley.

Not recommended except for those who know what they are getting into.

Score: 4.5 / 10

I feel like this review was kind of a mess/poorly written. While that may be the case with much of what I write, I just don't feel great about this entry. Maybe it's a reflection of the subject matter, but anyway I just wanted to put that out there. Hope it's at least somewhat coherent!

LADRONES DE TUMBAS

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Original Title: Ladrones de tumbas (Grave Robbers)
Year: 1990
Director: Rubén Galindo Jr.
Writer: Rubén Galindo Jr., Carlos Valdemar
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0282672/
Genre: Horror

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synopsis:
A group of grave robbers stumble into a crypt which houses the corpse of a vile Satanist killed during the Inquisition long ago. Upon removing an axe from the corpses chest, they inadvertently revive the Satanist who goes on the hunt once again for a virgin suitable to give birth to the Antichrist.

Galindo is back! He brought the slasher and well, not so much the zombies with him!

I kinda had it in my brain, especially with the ending of Cemetery of Terror, that Grave Robbers was going to be a sequel in some way. I didn't read it or anything, but they just seem to No such luck, but it was still a decent little flick that stood fine on its own.

This film provided quite a bit more gore and a more balanced story overall (things started off pretty strong and it more or less kept up the pace), but it lacked that nostalgic feeling for me that I got from Cemetery. That may not be a fair assessment since I watched them 12 hours apart or so, but that was just my gut reaction.

No true kids in this one, only very young adults who rob graves for profit. None of them particularly stood out, but if it weren't for them, then our demonic friend, El Verdugo (Agustín Bernal), would never had had his time in the spotlight. The actors' jobs in this one are really to set the story in motion, then run away screaming or dying. Bernal didn't have much of a speaking part, but his hulking form and sick makeup were quite a sight. In theory I suppose he was a zombie, although he was definitely not mindless as they are so often portrayed. Nice costume on his throughout the film... particularly his face makeup which I thought was pretty cool.

The other role of note was that of the police Captain Lopez (Fernando Almada). Almada did a fine job as the Captain, although nothing to write home about. He played the prototypical horror-hero despite the interesting twist thrown in there early that he wasn't used to firing a gun because nothing really happens in their little town. So you may find it odd that he is getting a local gunsmith to make him a goddamn MACHINE GUN just for fun? Good thing he had it though because El Verduga really needed some useless holes in his chest.

The Captain also stores dynamite in his closet at home.

Yes.

I know.

Militia man in the making.

The story is pretty straightforward and uses many horror conventions that even I the horror novice can see. We have the aforementioned hero, the bad boy turned good, the helpless ladies, the totally illogical choices that serve to move the story along, the ultimate final showdown, etc. There's nothing really new.

The frizzy hair and 80s holdover clothing definitely wasn't new.

While there are some neat little flourishes here and there, Galindo is satisfied just telling the story as is and giving the gore fans what they want. Unlike the other Mexi-horror flicks I have watched recently, this one actually had a few loud music, jump out gotcha scares. This one relied less on the tension build up. Can be cheap, yes, but it's all in good fun.

And speaking of cheap, gore effects do not come so, and the lack of budget shows here. Some people may be frustrated by fake looking effects, but then some of us appreciate them for what they are. You'll get a wide array of fakies here from the extra big torso to the rubber face to the severed hand. The right audience will be smiling the whole way through. The effects lacking gore were not that great either outside the makeup and costumes, but the heart was there so it counts for something.

It is interesting how it seems that Satan is going to be the likely evil culprit in these Mexican horror films as opposed to just say a monster or alien, although there are those around in films also. I've gotten a real sense through the cinema how much bigger religion is in the Mexican lifestyle as it is so very good and evil even down to the scuzzy genre films.

Ladrones de Tumbas was fun, but I just didn't get into it as much as it's older sister Cemetery. While it is good I was not sharing my afternoon with Stiglitz again, for as much talking as there is in this film, no characters are all that compelling, and it did feel like more of the same especially after watching a similar storyline with borrowed horror elements within the same 24-hour period.

I know this comes on a two-fer set with Cemetery, so I may recommend it then. It's worth a watch.

Score: 5.75 / 10

CEMENTERIO DEL TERROR

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Original Title: Cementerio del Terror
Year: 1985
Director: Rubén Galindo Jr.
Writer: Rubén Galindo Jr.
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0218088/
Genre: Horror

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synopsis:
A professor suspects that a vicious killer may have discovered a way to return from the grave and continue his violent spree. His fears are proved true when a group of teenagers decide to pull a Halloween prank by stealing the killer's body from the morgue. When the teens recite an incantation from an old magic book over the corpse, it begins to come back to life, along with all of the bodies from the nearby cemetery.

I read almost nothing about this film before I watched it and thought it was going to be a straight-up zombie flick from the name. What it ended up being was a the start of a Friday the 13th slasher morphing into a zombie film with a little hint of an Evil Dead, all of which was surprisingly entertaining.

Knowing that Hugo Stiglitz was in this, I admittedly sighed a bit. Hugo and I have been through a lot together this month. I've seen his fuzzy mug about as much as I have seen my wife's face it seems, and I have some to the realization... probably not all that surprisingly... that while his name is awesome, and he is in some entertaining(ly bad) films, the dude cannot act. This sad lack of skill is on display for everyone to see here.

Ugh, the poor guy can't even pretend to sleep! It was almost convincing when the shot started behind his chair, but as soon as you see his face, it looks more like he's pretending to enjoy a toothy BJ than in a deep sleep.

Driving around with a concerned look on his face isn't his strong suit either. And you'll see a lot of that fucking driving. I felt like I was watching the hovering helicopter creeper from Night of 1000 Cats again! If they cut out Stiglitz silently looking back and forth while being awkwardly lit by a hand held camera in the passenger seat, this film would probably be 10 minutes shorter.

His suit is pretty atrocious/awesome though. He needs some Ray Bans with that shit!

Stiglitz "plays" a doctor who is pursuing a former serial killer turned supernaturally possessed fucker Devlon (José Gómez Parcero). Devlon has to be the worst killer name EVER in a horror film. Wow. I must have looked away when they explained why Devlon was now dead and just sitting in a morgue. Honestly, the first half of the film was kind of like that for me. Through the first 40 minutes, I really thought it was going to lose me. They do a lot of setting up with getting the young kids in one place, getting the old kids in another, getting Stiglitz driving around while mouth breathing.

When things get rolling, however, I was a kid with the lights off again. This film may not be the most unique horror flick in the bunch, but it has the gore and the stupid victim syndrome thing in full effect, and it gave me quite a nostalgic feeling as a result.

Devlon is quite the formidable killer. Not only does he slice motherfuckers with his BARE HANDS (no machete here, bitches!) he also seems to have some sort of telekinetic ability as doors slam by themselves and one poor sap meets the wrong end of his own axe.

Devlon's kill music is kind of a combination of Halloween and Friday the 13th with strings and piano AND heavy breathing, but I guess this is probably due to the fact that he is a mash-up of all these American super-slashers... with a little bit of Satan sprinkled on top for good measure.

He don't need no stinkin' mask!

Was that racist?

The story with the children involved really didn't seem all that unique, but it was still satisfying regardless. I guess this film caught me at a good time. Some kids decide to fuck around with a black book they find in an abandoned house and read some Satanic rite over the corpse of Devlon they just stole from the morgue. What a boring night, right? Well, they thought so too, so they head back to the abandoned house when the rain gets heavy and start making out and drinking. Any veteran of 80s slashers knows what happens to teens that drink and fornicate!

Another group of younger kids out trick-or-treating and daring each other to walk to the middle of the creepy cemetery get tied up in the whole sordid Devlon affair also when Devlon bores of the fornicators and heads back to fuck with the kids. Luckily, one kid is wearing his lucky Michael Jackson jacket, so they fare a bit better against our killer.

Again, as with so many of the films I have covered lately, the direction and camerawork is nothing overly impressive, although there are a few nice high and low angle shots in the abandoned house with kills and with revealing Devlon that add a nice dramatic effect.

A difference I have noticed in these Mexican horror films from the American ones I am more familiar with is a lack of the jump out at you, gotcha scares. I am a base level moron when it comes to horror films, so gore and gotchas appeal to me. But these films I have watched, and maybe many more Mexican horror films(?), Cemetery of Terror included, rely much more on old school type scares... mood and slow tension as opposed to something jumping out at you. While this can work for more refined horror tastes I would imagine, it rarely lends any scares for my jaded eyes.

If anyone better versed in Mexican horror films has any input on this, I'd love to hear it!

Just when I had settled in with a supernatural slasher, Devlon throws me a curveball and starts summoning zombies! Now they are really trying to win me over! The zombies have rubber masks obviously, but they look fine, and any zombie appearance helps in my enjoyment. Another thing that adds to enjoyment is watching the director use the same 4 zombies to seem like 40! I swear I saw the same bald, hump-shouldered zombie emerge from a crypt at least 5 times!

This film was a real nostalgic trip for me. I think that people who are bigger horror fans than me may scoff at Cemetery of Terror, but watching it tonight I saw elements of slasher/horror films that I used to love as a kid, and it left a smile on my face. Again, it isn't well acted (lookin at you Stiglitz!) and nothing all that spectacular, but all the little parts were just fun.

Recommended for the old school rip off vibe! And for Hugo Stiglitz' exploding cross of doom!

Score: 5.75 / 10

EL TRONO DEL INFIERNO

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Original Title: El Trono del Infierno (The Throne of Hell)
Year: 1994
Director: Sergio Goyri
Writer: Gilberto de Anda?
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0261367/
Genre: Horror

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synopsis:
A group of archeologists excavating Aztec ruins in Mexico City uncover a bizarre statue, which unleashes satanic powers and possesses the chief archaeologist. The demonized man goes on a rampage of bloody murders while being pursued by one of his female colleagues and a police officer. Horribly burned in an explosion, he still continues his ungodly crimes, including crucifying a woman upside down. A bishop sends for a mystic called “The Angel”, a character who dresses in medieval clothing and is armed with a demon-destroying sword. The possessed archeologist transforms into a club-wielding monster and challenges The Angel in a duel to the death.

Ahhh, finally a return to form. No cheating, no punches pulled here. Mexploitation that is overly dramatic, filled with issues, gory, etc. and it ruled! This film sounded pretty ridiculous in descriptions and made me a little giddy. I'm so glad it didn't let me down.

Fuck you both, Stuart Whitman and Hugo Stiglitz!

Right off the bat, we are thrown into this supernatural story as the aforementioned archeological group removes a golden seal from the ground, then a strange ruby-eyed jackal statue. This simultaneously causes a solar eclipse, an earthquake, a tornado or some shit, and the awakening of some dude in linen with a mullet that would make Kenny Powers jealous.

Oh, it gets better.

Mr. Mullet, played by director Sergio Goyri, extracts EXCALIBUR and gets on a private jet to go stop all the mad shit that has just been unleashed in Mexico. The Beast, possessing the body of Mr. Jose Juan Jimenez (Roberto Ballesteros) after gruesomely slaying a few losers and even going on a car chase with outdated cars, wants to open the gates of Hell to allow Satan to come through, is Mr. Mullet's target.

This is pure gold.

The performances in the film are what I have wanted for awhile. I don't know if this film is meant to be taken all that seriously, but I love when these Mexican films remind me of the telenovelas that I have mentioned in past reviews. Amateur camera flourishes like the RAPIDZOOMINTOFACE to show surprise, or constant awkward cuts to someone asking for an explanation to something add to the poorly acted scenes.

The overly nerdy Dr. Rosa Maria Castro (Telly Filippini) and the hand cannon sporting detective Moran (Jorge Luke) do most of the talking, and in other context, their performances would be unbearable honestly. Filippini's fake looking lips and exaggerated nerd appearance really had me thinking we were going to see some slutty transformation in her at some point, but no such luck.

I've seen way too much porn apparently.

The best character is the possessed Jose Juan Jimenez. When he is foaming at the mouth, he is OK, but after he stops talking and walks around fucking shit up, he is at his strongest. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about his acting. Far from that actually.

I'm talking about this lumbering guy that jumps out windows, chokes motherfuckers, drives like a maniac, and will blow you up by staring at you. Don't miss his obvious rubber flopping club at the end! Quality!

For a large part of the film, he will be your source of enjoyment while on the other side you are being overwhelmed with exposition from the other characters. Explaination after explanation after explanation... then a little taste of gore!

While the direction and writing may not be the best, Goyri does benefit here from some nice sets and images. I don't know if it is thanks to a higher budget than we've become accustomed to this month, but the sets for instance in caves, inside an old castle, etc. really added to my enjoyment of the film. There were some cheaper type effects like the shaking rooms during an earthquake or the FulciFog® machine action, but these work too in a different way.

In particular, the poor crucified chick in the broken down industrial area is quite nice (in a manner of speaking). This is a well done scene I thought. And there's more FulciFog®!

This film is not very well made, got a little awkward at times due to the constant explanation to what was going on, and certainly not well acted, but I did enjoy it. I felt like I was getting off track (with the exception of Satanico Pandemonium) and this one righted the ship most definitely. It was so over the top at times, I couldn't help but smile.

Definite recommendation if you're looking for a strange Mexi-horror. It doesn't have any real scares, but does well in being bad/good and entertaining.

Score: 6.5 / 10