Original Title: Ölüm Savasçisi Year: 1984 Director: Cüneyt Arkin, Çetin Inanç Writer: Cüneyt Arkin, Çetin Inanç IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0183597/ Genre: Action Synopsis:
A group of invincible ninjas in the U.S, start killing everybody, and the NYPD chief can’t solve the problem. The mayor thinks 'ONLY a Turkish detective can handle the situation', so they call for Inspector Murat (Kemal?) for help... and he comes to U.S. That’s when the action starts!
Three posts in the past two months. I rule.
Sorry to all zero of you who are let down that I didn't finish my number film countdown thingamajig. For anyone interested, the other films were Three The Hard Way (which I'd score an 8.5), The Two Of Us (which I'd score an 8.0), and.................. ONE ARMED BOXER (which also gets an 8.0).
Taaaa daaaaaaaa!
And what brings me out of my hibernation? Turkish ninjas of course. See, these ninjas are a samurai family that become darkness ninjas after dying. Yeah... zombies?
They can use playing cards and matchsticks as deadly weapons
They can live underwater for days without breathing
They know ALCHEMY! (what the fuck?)
They can see in the dark
Sometimes they even come back after dying (for the second time?)
And the only one that can stop them? This guy.
He's a pacifist (I guess?)... he's a lover... he will kick your goddamn face off. Unload a revolver into a Turkish ninja and he will keep coming. One kick from the Inspector and those bitches go down hard.
I'm not really exaggerating when I say that in the 1:17:00 runtime of this film, about 1:12:33 of it is ninjas training, ninjas kicking the shit out of people, and Murat kicking the shit out of ninjas. If you've ever seen a Turkish B-movie before, you pretty much know what to expect here, although I have to say this is possibly the most action packed one I have seen yet.
The story is pretty straight forward, and possiblymaybe could have been interesting in the hands of someone who knew how to write and direct a film properly. The narrative here is nothing new - bringing in a badass to take care of some bad guys that local authorities cannot handle - but it is slapped together in true Turkish cinema style making it more a collection of scenes loosely pasted together and padded with people running and screaming to fill out the time. These are the sorts of films you can honestly have on while not fully paying attention because they are certainly not heavy on plot details.
The fansubs are not perfect either, but who am I to complain about that? I feel very fortunate to be able to watch something like this and not be 100% lost. But really, if you find this without subtitles, you will have almost no trouble following what is going on. It personally drives me nuts to not know, but that's just me.
This film jumps freely from romance to mystery to cop to action and even some very bizarre horror and supernatural elements that make no sense whatsoever. But it's something about this strange mixture that make films like Death Warrior very endearing to me.
You'd probably be very pissed if you went to a cinema today and plopped down 10 bucks and got a film like this on the screen. But enjoying it on your screen at home is a completely different matter.
The acting is hard to get a read on. Cüneyt Arkin as the inspector is really the only character you will get to know all that well. The man must have been doing something right as he has 270 acting credits, and I've read that he was actually in over 500 films. He certainly has a unique and cool Amitabh style about him. I'm almost certain he must have been as successful as he was due to his looks and suave demeanor... but that's OK. I was eating up a little myself. Despite some obvious undercranking for some ridiculously paced fights, he's pretty agile for a guy who would have been near 50 when this was filmed. Seeing him bounce on trampolines with silly looking spray painted swords is worth the price of admission.
True lovers of trashy, low budgeted cinema will enjoy this one quite a bit I think. I've been let down by silly Turkish films in the past which ended up being all about the highlights from youtube and were boring otherwise (I'm looking at you here, Korkusuz aka Turkish Rambo), but Death Warrior stays actiony (I just made that word up) throughout with some ludicrous special effects and fights that really had me laughing and entertained.
For a film that for all intents and purposes would be considered a trainwreck anywhere else, I have to give a High recommendation to Death Warrior. Bravo, Mr. Arkin. You'll make a believer out of me yet.
The Chinese Zodiac chart says that 1973 was the Year of the Buffalo.
But the Americana Genre Fan Zodiac chart has 1973 possibly as the year of Joe Don Baker.
Per my usual, I was informed of quite a few films this week that I of course had not seen. I had asked Will of The Gentlemen's Guide podcast what Joe Don Baker films I should check out. Samurai and Will as well as a few callers over the months have mentioned him, and I just wasn't sure who he was.
Sure, I could have just looked him up, but I'm a lazy bastard, remember?
If you don't recognize his name by now, you will probably recognize his face.
See what I mean?
Anyway, to beef up on Mr. Baker before he started cashing some turd-soaked paychecks by the mid-1980s (Leonard Part 6... Dukes of Hazzard remake... Joe Dirt...), I was recommended a handful of films he was in, all of which happened to fall in 1973. So it was triple feature time!
I call it the year of Joe Don because this was certainly his time to shine. The starring role he is probably most remembered for is Walking Tall. He played alongside a guy you might recognize... Mr. Robert Duvall... in what seems to be a somewhat forgotten film The Outfit. And then there is an Anton Chigurh type character opposite another guy that looked rather familiar... I think his name was Walter Matthau or something like that... in Charley Varrick.
Baker was quite the busy fellow around this time, and it really seems like he was hitting on all cylinders in this great year of '73
Walking Tall, directed by Phil Karlson, was a film I knew about for years, but obviously never got around to watching or even looking into all that much. I knew the general story from having a lukewarm interest in the 2004 remake with the same name. I never saw that film either, but it did catch my eye because I was (and still am I suppose) quite the Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson fan.
This film happened at the end of Karlson's career as a director and second-unit director. He would direct Baker once more in a movie called Framed (which I haven't seen of course) before hanging up the directing boots for good.
Walking Tall is presented pretty straightforwardly. Karlson doesn't seem to show any flourishes or anything like that as we get a point A to pont B to point C Hollywoodified account of Sheriff Buford Pusser's life upon returning to his small hometown after an extended stay away. While nothing really stood out in regards to the visual style and direction of the film, I did think that Karlson's deliberate pacing along with the runtime of the film coming in just a little over 2 hours had some parts feeling superfluous. There's a handful of times that I just felt that a scene could have been cut down or cut out and it would have had everything feeling crispier and pacier. Is pacier a word?
The strength of the film lies in the subject matter and the performance of Baker. The story is the easy part because not many men lead the life of Buford Pusser. Single-handedly taking on The State-Line Mob and the Dixie Mafia along the border of Tennessee and Mississippi, Pusser was harassed, threatened, and even shot multiple times in his tenure as sheriff of McNairy County, TN. This man's personal quest was ripe for the picking in regards to books, movies, etc. I encourage anyone to read more about Pusser's short life. Doc Zom (check out his pro wrasslin blog at http://doctorzomsclassicprorasslin.blogspot.com/) has recommended a book called The State Line Mob for a gritty account of the illegal activities of the group and Pusser's dealings with them.
And the other strength, Baker's performance, is a biggie. This is a star-making type role and Joe Don was most definitely up to the challenge. His performance has great range as we see him shine in quiet/down moments such as outwitting a belligerent judge in a public restroom to painful scenes like getting his ass whipped, shot, etc., to dishing out some hurt of his own with a very convincing yet controlled rage.
This was a fantastic way to really see Joe Don Baker in a strong role for the first time.
Buford Pusser, aptly nicknamed The Bull when he was a professional wrestler, was portrayed here as stubborn and very determined. Nothing was going to stop him from continuing his "quest for justice" so to speak. Pusser had his ideals and no matter what shit and grime and terror was thrown his way just kept on his path. It makes for a great story, a solid movie, and served as a wonderful gateway for an underrated actor to really shine.
Score: 7.75 / 10
Next in my triple feature I checked out a much harder to find film directed by John Flynn, The Outfit, which found Joe Don teaming up with Robert Duvall as a couple guys performing a series of heists to in essence get revenge on The Outfit, that has killed Earl's (Duvall) brother and has their sights set on him. Earl recruits Cody (Baker) after learning of everything as we swing into motion.
As with Walking Tall, I felt like this was a solid, fun movie. I can now say I am a fan of Joe Don Baker after seeing these three films rapid fire, and I have been a Robert Duvall fan for a long time. I really like the team up of these two because in ways I feel like they are similar actors. I'm not sure their style is super similar, but both of them give me a similar feeling... they can both be serious badasses when the time is right (with Joe Don being a little louder in these times) but damn if I don't wanna just hug both of these guys.
Duvall's Earl certainly has a serious and even violent streak, but like many of his characters, he has a very cool approach to it all. He doesn't lose his temper but will shoot a bastard through the hand in front of a group of people that would surely see him killed if possible. Maybe it's my bias speaking, but Duvall is just great as usual here. What he does, he does right by me.
Baker here doesn't really have the outward acting as I mentioned, but plays it pretty cool similar to Duvall's character. He seems to be a simple guy with plain-as-day assessments of the shit that is going down, and he does what he does because that is what he knows how to do best. You get the hints (and some not so thinly veiled) throughout the film that he is ready to finally give the heist life up and settle down somewhere quiet, similar to his character from Walking Tall. Where Earl is driven and has a personal stake in everything going to plan, Cody does it out of loyalty to his friend and probably still the enjoyment he has inside when a heist/hold up goes according to plan.
In fact, some of my favorite scenes in the film were the down moments when Earl and Cody would just talk about future plans or whatever. The two interacted very well with one another... sometimes having simple yet interesting conversations without even making eye contact.
One scene in particular near the middle point of the film had Earl and Cody driving along while lady friend Bett (played by the lovely Karen Black) slept in the back seat. Cody talks about his diner in northern Oregon and how well he can fry an egg while Earl smokes and chuckles and listens. It's just a really cool moment for me for whatever reason.
It's a shame that this film is not on DVD... it deserves better treatment than it has received. There are VHS and "other versions" floating around which unfortunately is the only way to see this as far as I can tell. It's definitely worth watching. It's not a flashy film, but one to see for two very solid performances in Duvall and Baker.
Score: 7.5 / 10
The last film I watched in my mini-marathon was actually not technically a Joe Don Baker film. That honor would go to Walter Mathau. But Baker's supporting character is quite the memorable one and could possibly be my favorite of the three here. The film itself I enjoyed the most.
Charley Varrick, directed by Don Siegel of Dirty Harry fame, follows a group of bank robbers dealing with the realization that the money they have stolen may be a little too hot for them to handle.
Walter Mathau is fucking great here. He plays Charley Varrick and is cool and smart and witty as he can be. I love seeing Mathau's kinda smart ass characterizations just slightly creeping their way into Varrick along with the character himself being written to be one cool motherfucker. I really liked the details written in for him to show how on top of everything he was such as retrieving his dental records when there is risk of being caught or even using his crop dusting business as a cover (and means of transportation) for his bank robbing profession.
His speech/way with words may be the most impressive. There is a terrific scene when Varrick is talking about a round shaped bed with a woman.
"You may find this hard to believe, but I've never slept on a round bed."
"Is that so?"
"What's the best way... north, south, east or west?"
"That depends on what you had in mind..."
"What i had in mind was boxing the compass."
GET EM! It's all just delivered in that Mathau style, only with a cool cucumber skin over it.
Phenomenal!
But let's not forget why we are here. We are celebrating the Year of the Joe Don, remember? I mentioned earlier that Joe Don Baker plays an Anton Chigurh type character. He's not quite as frightening as Javier Bardem's portrayal in No Country for Old Men, but plays the same wild card hit man on a mission. His name is Molly. He has his peculiarities. But once he has someone in his sights, he doesn't stop. Baker is great here with a quiet intensity with Mr. Molly. Like I said, he's not as creepy and certainly has more personality as Chigurh, but his focus and his apparent enjoyment of what he does makes him almost as intimidating.
Molly just walks into places and pushes his way into obtaining information. He has a job and no one is going to stop that job from being finished. Baker is really well cast here being that he does happy and intense so well at the same time.
The contrast between Varrick and Molly is one of the more interesting aspects of the film. Both men in a way follow the same path (as Molly has been tasked with tracking Varrick down), and to see the way they interact with the same or at least similar people is awesome. Varrick uses his charm and wit to get his way. With Molly it's intensity and bullying.
"You just keep throwin' your feathers, Mister... before I put you in the hospital."
I loved the pacing of the film and thought the tension was spot on. It's not super action packed, although there are some nice action sequences, but through the tense tone, Siegel was able to make an exciting cat and mouse style story, only here the mouse was brilliant.
This film is a high recommendation from me.
Score: 8.5 / 10
So there you have it. 1973 was certainly Bakers time to shine and in my opinion he was sparkling. Watching these films certainly opened my eyes to him as a great and underrated actor of the 1970s, and I'll certainly be tracking down more of his films.
At least Stunt Rock had the ridiculous stage act to offset the lack of actual movie.
Deathcheaters was I suppose Trenchard-Smith's attempt at a comedy. As the film started, I actually felt a little confident in this realization, as the laughs weren't gut-busting, but at least entertaining. John Hargreaves playing stuntman Steve Hall and Grant Page playing stuntman Rodney Cann had good chemistry at first. Steve was sort of the voice to Rodney's peculiarities (such as wearing a Seinfeld-style pirate shirt and talking to his Bassett hound a la Roscoe and Flash from The Dukes of Hazzard). This film was released before either Seinfeld of Dukes though.
Can't ever say Trenchard-Smith wasn't influential!
There is a great scene in particular that really had my hopes high for the rest of the film. Steve and Rodney are filming an advertisement for motor oil or something. As Steve talks to the camera, we suddenly cut to Rodney flying through the air in this crazy industrial dune buggy. This eventually leads to a chase as they are bored with the commercial and decide to help out the cops driving by chasing some apparent bandits. Cars drive through a shopping mall and fun is had.
However, after this, as we get into the real plot of the film, everything just grinds to a screeching halt. The just for whatever reason becomes decidedly UNfunny. (With one notable exception that I can remember with a silly joke between Page and a secretary... her telling him that her plans for the evening consist of washing her hair then asking him if he has shampoo at his place.)
The stunts in the center portion of the film felt a little dry for me as well. Not that I would be anywhere remotely brave enough to repel from a building and such, but it all just felt out of place and very unspectacular after the thrilling car chase at the onset.
By the end of the film we finally bring the plot together as the two stuntmen use the skills they obtained in the war to infiltrate a factory and steal documents, but despite this OK final scene with quite a few explosions, machine gun fire, and what appears to be a trademark Tenchard-Smith hang-gliding sequence, it still all ultimately felt very flat.
Don't worry, that standing on the edge shot above isn't me after watching the film... although it was getting close.
Page and Hargreaves are solid in their roles. I like Page despite not having loads of range, but it's awesome to see this great stuntman in essentially a lead role. Hargreaves is probably the standout. He seems like he would be a very good leading man given the right role, although I have not seen anything else with him in it as far as I know.
You know, I have had as much enthusiasm at writing this review as I actually had watching it. To give you a little peek behind the curtain here, I started this goddamn thing on May 1st!
Deathcheaters wasn't terrible. But it wasn't all that good either. It just committed that cardinal genre-film sin... boring the audience. At least this one man audience.
Maybe I need to watch this with the commentary track on and see how I feel about it then.
Original Title: The Man From Hong Kong Year: 1975 Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith, Jimmy Wang Yu Writer: Brian Trenchard-Smith IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073343/ Genre: Action Synopsis:
Special Agent Fang Sing Leng is called in from Hong Kong to Sydney, Australia to interrogate and extradite a Chinese drug dealer, but becomes increasingly involved in a larger criminal network despite protests of the local law enforcement.
As far as I can tell, The Man From Hong Kong is Trenchard-Smith's first feature length film, and boy what a fucking doozy of a first film. To be a rookie in the 70s and get to blow shit up like this certainly took some sway somewhere.
This film stars Jimmy Wang Yu, who was apparently quite the problem actor. I had heard of his being tough to work with in a review long ago by Cinema Diabolica about his 1976 film The Master of the Flying Guillotine. Yu and Trenchard-Smith had issues on this set as well with who was directing who, but the pairing here at least made for quite a flashy film given the time period.
It starts off with a bang (fantastic helicopter/car/chase sequence capped off with the camera almost getting taken out by a flying door from the first of several carsplosions), and pays off with action throughout.
Yu is solid in his acting and martial arts, but for fans of later Shaw Bros. style kung fu action, you may find him a bit lacking. He was a big star at the time, even having directed his own films, and this film happened right in the middle of the kung fu craze that was going on in Hong Kong. Maybe it was because he was pissed off the entire time making the film, but his bad attitude and almost exclusively straight face play well into his character's hardline approach to "law" enforcement.
I don't mean to downplay Wu's physical skills here. He's not as flashy as many others, but I appreciate a less flashy style in cinematic martial arts as well as it can come across as more realistic sometimes. Sonny Chiba is one such actor that comes to mind. His kicks aren't the highest, but they carry such force they can look great. Yu is no Chiba, but he is still entertaining to watch. I'm not sure how many of his own stunts he did, but either way much of the action going on was largely convincing.
George Lazenby is the antagonist (other than some short appearances by Sammo Hung, Grant Page, and even Trenchard-Smith himself as unnamed villains), and is looking quite lovely with mis mustache of doom. I gotta appreciate some good facial hair. Lazenby is probably most famous for portraying James Bond only once in 1969's On Her Majesty's Secret Service. He's really good here I thought, and even looks pretty badass doing his martial arts at various points. I would like to have seen him more in the film, but what can you do?
Having two big personalities like Yu's Hong Kong Dirty Harry and Lazenby's Jack Wilton perhaps would ahve been too much. Yu was good at kicking nameless thug ass throughout the film, and the conflict between Wilton and Fang Seng Leng built up pretty well. Trenchard-Smith wrote a fairly standard story here, but directed it decently, especially for a first time.
There are some parts that drag and seem out of place, such as the "love affair" between Leng and a chick played by the beautiful Rosalind Speirs. The musical montage that accompanies the two of them horseback riding and frolicking in meadows is just fucking bizarre in the midst of a film with goddamn cars crashing through houses and bloody fights in a karate dojo. I understand the point of the scene, but it really felt awkward the entire time.
Luckily Trenchard-Smith largely sticks to what he does well, shooting action sequences. There's some fantastic stuff here with fights and car chases and such. Knowing this came this early in a director's career is even more impressive. The car chase through more rural roads in the back half of the film is one of the coolest I have seen in awhile. There are some real nice flourishes in the filming, particularly with the cars. Trenchard-Smith and his crew seemed to really have a handle on this aspect of movie-making very early on - you can really feel the speed and impact.
The action here is the lynchpin holding it all together, and taken as such, you can really leave the film with a sweet sweet taste in your mouth. Like I said, given the time period this was made, there's a lot of crazy shit here.
This is not a perfect film by any means, but is well beyond just being average. It almost would fit better in the 1980s. Hang gliding plays a part in this when all is said and done.
Yes, hang gliding.
While some parts dragged and weren't great, and the hit song that opens and closes the film is a disco travesty, I still had a good time with this and would recommend it to action fans, and especially to those wanting to beef up on their Trench.
Original Title: Stunt Rock Year: 1978 Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith Writer: Paul-Michel Mielche Jr., Brian Trenchard-Smith IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078335/ Genre: Action Synopsis:
Australian stuntman Grant Page goes to Los Angeles to work on a television series. He uses his spare time to lend his expertise to rock band Sorcery, whose act features duels between the King of the Wizards and the Prince of Darkness, with his cousin playing the Prince.
OK, I'm not always a fan of saying there's not much to say about this movie...
but...
Stunt Rock was certainly not what I expected. Instead of a standard action flick, what we get is sort of a Grant Page highlight show. Trenchard-Smith creates a very barebones story with Grant Page coming to Los Angeles to work as a stuntman on a new television show, meeting a lady there who is writing a story about people making sacrifices for their profession.... or something. Enter Mr. Page who throughout the film tells whatsherface about being a stuntman and being confident and having no fear. Then we see a highlight of a stunt he has done in another film while he talks about it a little.
The other major elements of the show was stage performances by this kindasomewhatmaybe ridiculous late-70s hair metal band Sorcery that simultaneously sucks rocks while a wizard and a devil (who is Grant Page's cousin in the movie) have MAGIC BATTLES on stage.
Um, yeah. This shit is hilariously bizarre. In Not Quite Hollywood, there was a funny story that Trenchard-Smith and a few others told about being told they had to find a band in a couple days, and Sorcery was a band that you find when given only a couple days. Their music is pretty atrocious and repetitive, and as someone in the documentary said, their magic may certainly have been better than their music. Try as I might though, I cannot ever look at a magic show and think "cool", at least not in the same thought of a metal band being "cool."
It's such an odd combo, and the trifecta here with Page being related to the devil guy who plays with fire is just a humorous stretch. So funny.
Like I said, I don't really like saying there's not much to say about the film, but it is what it is. Page performs a few stunts that seem to be showcased in the film for the first time, including a human bow and arrow type stunt over a gigantic cliff where he just flings himself through the air via a loooooong rope.
Grant Page is a fuckin madman. At least he was anyway, although he is still alive. You'll see him here climbing between speeding cars, crashing through a van windshield while on fire, falling off a cliff in a ball of fire, scaling the side of a hospital while his ass is hanging out. He's also fearless, or so it would seem. It's all quite awe inspiring, particularly for a fan of action cinema who may have a bit more knowledge into what stuntmen deal with in their profession.
This was actually the more interesting plot element of this film, even though it was handled a bit awkwardly: a director on the set of the television show and a manager of the lead actress that obviously take the work that Page does for granted. The director wants more more more... Page's stunts will do for him. The manager believes the stunts need to be left to stuntmen and the risk need not be taken by a star. This is probably true in reality, but the way this particular character is handled in the film is as if he looks down on the stuntmen, like they are expendable in a way.
It's all a bit heavy-handed but it comes from a good place. Take away Sorcery and the pointless tiny plot, and you have Trenchard-Smith's homage to the stunt by way of Grant Page. By showing stunt after stunt, sometimes with an almost-impressive spit screen with reverse angle, he drives the point home.
This would have been a great movie to show at Actionfest, as the weekend was definitely dedicated to stuntmen first.
This isn't a great movie. It felt like an episode of a sitcom when they just flashback and talk about shit that already happened. The story is throwaway, and Sorcery's stage act gets a bit repetitive. But seeing Grant Page do his insane shit was entertaining. You can see most of these stunts of his in other films though. It all just feels patched together and contains a plot probably just because it had to or something.
I'd recommend this for Trenchard completists, or someone wanting to see the amazing band Sorcery at the height of their magical career.
I've heard a lot of you roody-poo candy asses arguing Ninja is better than Ninja Assassin or vice versa
Well I'm here to set the record straight.
It's pretty much a draw, suckers!
How's THAT for taking a controversial, hard lined stance? Wishy-washerman Loaf himself is here to say that maybe perhaps I enjoyed Ninja Assassin a little more for its ridiculousness, but Ninja was still solid and I will root for Scott Adkins until I find out about him torturing puppies or something in the future.
Ninja's title is a bit misleading because it largely follows the traditional Hong Kong approach to ninjitsu in having the ninja be mainly a villain as opposed to a hero. None of the acting here is fantastic by any stretch of the imagination, and honestly after seeing Adkins' moves in Undisputed II (another solid fuckin action flick) recently, I felt like some of the martial arts were a bit tame as well. But the story here was decent and definitely a more traditional martial arts setup. It was straightforward, easy to follow, and really did not try to be anything it was not... a direct to video movie with ninja shit!
I've heard complaint here about a certain ninja costume being silly, and, well... it kinda is. But let's not forget what we are talking about here. A GODDAMN NINJA. Updating your gear a little to have night vision and wings is no more ridiculous than a person that can walk on water or heal themselves with mere mind power, right? I liked the direction the movie took honestly with the new ninjitsu style of a man who has lost his way in bitterness and jealousy vs. an older style.
There are some great looking stunts here, and even the little wirework gets a pass considering the subject matter.
If Ninja were a movie I paid 10 bucks to see in a theater, I'd understand complaining perhaps. But for a rental if you're in the mood to see some sword fighting and blow darts, you could do a hell of a lot worse.
Score: 6.25 / 10
The general consensus for the most part seems to be that Ninja Assassin is the superior film to the two notable ninja flicks of 2009. While I have defended Ninja here in the fight, I did enjoy Ninja Assassin a little more. The difference here is that Ninja Assassin could have been more but fell short for a few reasons to Ninja's being better than I thought it would be going in.
Both movies have their fair share of CGI blood and gore, but honestly it doesn't really bother me most of the time. There are exceptions of course when it just seems completely out of place (such as a neck stabbing in Un Prophete which I was totally distracted by unfortunately), but when you get buckets of gore, and it is established early that they are going the CGI route, then good on ya. Make it entertaining.
And boy does the blood flow in Ninja Assassin.
The story in Ninja Assassin is also structured similarly to a traditional martial arts film, but the added introspection as well as a detective agency sideplot really detracted from the overall experience for me. Raizo (Rain) had an interesting past as an orphan with a very bright (dark?) future as an assassin for a very old ninja clan, but for a reason that I will not spoil here goes rogue.
I wish it had been left here.
There is a subplot that develops with an international agency librarian or some shit unravelling assassination plots and actually having video of Raizo in action. What kind of ninja is that getting caught plain as day on film? I will qualify this complaint by also stating that the ninja in Ninja Assassin are almost superhuman until Raizo splits their pressurized asses in two. You see them actually move fast enough to where there is a blur, climb on celings, etc. If Raizo is the strongest disciple, is he really gonna be fucking around without a mask and not hiding in shadows?
I don't like getting bogged down in geeky plotholes and stuff... I would say (particularly lately) that I am pretty forgiving of movies as a whole and just try to enjoy them for what they are. Ninja Assassin just forced my hand. I would just find myself thinking "I wish they would just get back to people or a car getting shredded by ninja stars.
There's some great shit in here though that balances out some of the over analyzation and overabundant plot points. A ridiculous body count and the magical ninja shit I like to see is all there with some crazy (if CGI'ed) weapon fights. The over the top elements really helped me enjoy this one in moments far more than Ninja, but the other elements really weighted it down so it ultimately overall was not that much more enjoyable for me.
Score: 6.75 / 10
So it's pretty much a wash.
Direct to video that soars higher than one would expect.
Bigger budget cinematic release with crazy shit weighted down by some corny turd
And I have gone around my elbow to scratch my ass!
A.K.A. Falling In and Out of Love With A Vigilante
It's possible there may be some mild spoilers in this entry, although I will keep them as mild as possible!
As many of you know, I am super inexperienced in genre film watching to this day. While my appetite for trashy cinema may be high, my naivety may outshine it still. Death Wish is one genre staple I was minutely familiar with. Granted, I was a child most likely when I saw it, and it was probably on some local channel on a Saturday night (fuck, those were the days), but there were still parts of the film that brought back memories of sitting cross legged in front of the old wood paneled Zenith.
This week I sat down with all five (yes, all five) Death Wish films. I realized a few things while watching them. Most notably:
1) Charles Bronson likes ice cream.
and 2) I definitely had not seen any Death Wishes after the first.
So for the unknowing, uninitiated , or even uncaring, here's my general thoughts on this classic pentalogy for better or worse. I'll probably have the most to say about the first film as it is certainly the most artistic of the bunch and probably warrants the most actual discussion as opposed to giggling over giant guns and bullet holes.
Death Wish (1974) was filmed/released at a time when crime in American cities was on an obvious rise and American citizens were beginning to possibly feel the way that the main character Paul Kersey (Charles Bronson) actually acts out. The Bronson/Michael Winner flick was one of several the two worked on together, including the first three Death Wishes.
This film is an interesting look into a liberal man becoming increasingly frustrated with crime affecting him, and increasingly comfortable with solving these crime issues himself. At the time of its release, many critics said the film was exploitative and even dangerous in its message... and certainly the fact that it was a box office hit could have been looked at as a potential problem.
I did though feel like Paul Kersey's transformation in the film was handled rather well. He carries a sock with rolls of quarters in it, feeling exhilarated when he finally protects himself one night with it. When he first shoots a man, it is grisly and uncomfortable. The man writhes on the ground in tremendous pain and Paul runs away scared shitless... all the way home where he vomits at the thought of what he has done. I thought the jump after this into his more comfortably killing criminals was a bit abrupt, but not exactly exploitative, at least not by today's standards. I could see 36 years ago (holy shit) this being more pronounced however.
I've written in the past about this very subject with my review of Enzo Castellari's Street Law. Street Law was definitely at least inspired by Death Wish, and I feel the same here. It is a film meant to entertain, but treading on the ground of reality in a fictional work when dealing with such an incendiary topic can send a dangerous message to viewers. At times Death Wish also glamorizes the vigilante, maybe most at the end as Bronson points his finger gun at some thugs with a big shit eating grin on his face. And as I said in my review of Street Law, seeing this film nearly 40 years removed from the "current," it is easy to separate the message from the entertainment. But taking the time period in context, perhaps it certainly was exploitative.
The author of the novel that this film was based on, Brian Garfield, apparently hated the film adaptation, and too felt it was overly exploitative. So much so, in fact, that he wrote a sequel novel Death Sentence to show the dark side of vigilantism that he feels like the film missed from his first novel.
Garfield has said
The novel, which I wrote years ago as a sort of penance for the movie version of "Death Wish", attempts to demonstrate in dramatic form that vigilantism is not a solution -- it's a problem, and tends to destroy those who attempt it.
Anyway, back to the goods. Bronson was definitely solid here. He's not the greatest actor, often pretty stiff and stone faced, but he commands the screen when he's there. Something about his cool demeanor and look is magnetic no matter what the skill is, which is probably part of his long term success. The Gentlemen's Guide to Midnite Cinema bring up this point about Charles Bronson quite often, and it's very true.
Although in a breaking of his character, I did get a good chuckle at how happy Bronson looked in his apartment while swinging his new quarter-loaded sock around over his head. He was like a little kid.
The supporting characters were all solid for the most part. You get a nasty little appearance by Jeff Goldbloom with a now probably legendary line "Goddamn rich cunts! I kill rich cunts!" Detective Frank (Vincent Gardenia) was a cool character as well, and I really liked his runny nose cold being one of his character traits. It gave him more... um... character? The city of New York in 1970s cinema (this has been said thousands of times) also is a character of its own.
Artistically speaking, this film is far and away my favorite of the bunch. If there is going to be one Death Wish you see, this is quite possible that one... although part 3 may give it a run for its money. Death Wish is definitely thought (and discussion) provoking despite losing that focus somewhat by the end.
Death Wish II (1982) at the same time felt like a rehash of the first story as well as a great example of the contrast between 70s and 80s action cinema. It fittingly takes place in Los Angeles despite my wishes that it would follow the end of the first film and take place in Chicago. This film is the Motley Crue to the first film's maybe Black Sabbath - same family but the former with big hair and makeup.
The main difference plotwise between the two films is the establishment of a particular group of criminals that Kersey is after. I felt the examination of Kersey's experimentation with vigilantism to feel satisfied in the first film was far more believable and interesting than remembering the faces of certain assailants and tracking each of them down. The first film thus leaves you more with the feeling and impact of his decisions and the second with essentially just a collection of vigilante vignettes. Gone completely is the indication that his behaviors are affecting him in any way besides simply accomplishing the task at hand. His actions now seem like those of an addict as supposed to someone who is frustrated. He hides it from everyone, even going so far as renting a seedy hotel room to stage from.
Other notable differences:
Herbie Hancock's classy jazz-infused soundtrack in part I vs. Jimmy Page's tacky pre-80s rock soundtrack in part II.
More reliance on shocking scenes for impact including loads of gunfire and an extended rape scene.
Nasty Jeff Goldbloom is replaced by a corny Lawrence Fishburn. In fact, all the villains in the film are far less realistic and almost characatures of criminals; many felt very over the top.
Death Wish II was released by Cannon Films as opposed to Paramount's handling of the first - this alone can explain a lot to those who know a little about Cannon's typical releases
While the film had a different story, so much of it just felt like the exploitative elements pulled from the first film, polished 80s style, and output to a more standard action film. Bronson's portrayal of Kersey is essentially the same in his down moments except we get to see some really awkward love scenes which really should have been avoided at this point in his career. Vincent Gardenia reprises his role as Frank Ochoa, but unfortunately he still has a cold. I'm not sure why that rubbed me the wrong way, but it was a cool little touch for me in the first film and then just felt unoriginal by the second. Yeah, I get it... he's snotty. Blergh
This film was a complete departure from the ideas set in motion from most of the first film. Standing alone, perhaps I would have liked this film more. It was not terrible, it's nastier and more mean-spirited than the first and certainly more exploitative I would say, but not all that compelling for me either. It's definitely in the middle of the Death Wish road for me.
Death Wish III (1985) takes the excess of Death Wish II, cuts away the worthless fat, blows coke up its ass with a bendy straw, and sends it along its way. I can't really say that in all confidence because we do get more painful Bronson lovemaking, but at least this chick finds the better end of a carsplosion, so we'll let it slide. Sorry for the spoiler there!
By the time III rolls around, we've completely forgotten who exactly Paul Kersey really is. His wife and daughter are dead, and he seems to be just a wanderer at this point. A wanderer with a fetish for guns and a supplier who pulls no punches. He gets a letter from an old military friend in NY describing the decline of his neighborhood and asking for help, and Paul makes the trip.
Oddly, I don't even remember him mentioning that he is an architect, but he did tell someone he was a freelance writer or something, so that's strange.
Death Wish III, another Cannon film, is completely over the top and felt almost a parody of the vigilante genre. Vigilantisploitation? This film has made a complete 180 from where the series started, and thus has a cult following as well... but for obviously different reasons. You're not gonna find a sick Paul here wondering if what he is doing is right. You're gonna find a couple senior citizens (Bronson included as he was 64 or so when he made this film) using machine guns and yes, rocket launchers to dispose of some of the tackiest villains yet. The main baddie Fraker (Gavan O'Herlihy) is the worst yet. He even has this ridiculous reverse mohawk that really only makes him look like a banding man with a failure combover.
And the guy in the gang that you recognize from other shit? We've come from Goldbloom in I, down to Fishburn in II, and tumbled way down the celebrity totem pole here with a nasty Alex Winter a.k.a. Bill S. Preston Esq., although to be fair he would not actually be Bill until a few years later.
Again the villains are comical and one dimensional instead of anything approaching scary. Bronson is really hamming it up as well in his own stoic kind of way. Gone even is the element of suspense of Kersey avoiding the cops, because they essentially recruit him this time.
The body count in Death Wish III is far and away beyond that of the first and even second film, and this is where we are introduced to possibly the gun best associated with the Paul Kersey character, the .475 Wildey Magnum, an absurd hand cannon only topped in the film perhaps by the .30 cal WWII era machine guns, but really only by the goddamn rocket launcher.
For anyone interested, here is the promotional video for the pistols, riding on the success of the film itself.
Shit, there was even a Commodore 64 video game made of this movie!
As I was watching this, I thought it would be fantastic fodder for an appearance in the Simpsons. And funny enough, I realized soon after that Death Wish had been joked about in a slightly different way. A trailer for Death Wish 9 was shown, a decrepit Bronson lying in a hospital bed saying "I wish I was dead."
Not too far off!
Seek Death Wish 3 out for a shitty flick that is good for all the wrong reasons. It might be my favorite over part I, but I guess it would depend on the mood. The only question raised here is "Is this gun porn or not?"
BOOM!
I'm going to cram Death Wish IV (1987) and Death Wish V (1994) here together because honestly, they are definitely the two worst films of the bunch and I don't feel like writing much more!
Death Wish IV has Kersey infiltrating 2 rival organizations that supply 90% of the drugs to Los Angeles. Yes, we're back in Los Angeles. By the time you've gotten to this film, you can really see how standard they have become. Yes, Kersey is still a vigilante, but the cops are almost a non-factor here. There is a twist in the film wish was good I suppose, but still by the end this film still felt a bit flat. A 66-year old Bronson just didn't have the same oomph he did way back when.
We do get more rocket launcher love and a silly shootout in a roller rink which brought back some fond memories of my awkward years at good ol' Skate Haven, but it was honestly too little, too late. Micheal Winner had moved onto the greener pastures of whatever-the-fuck-he-was-doing and in came J. Lee Thompson of Cape Fear and The Guns of Navarone fame, but his attempt at a more serious story once again just fell short. It's too bad because Bronson and Thompson made some apparently solid films earlier in the 80s with 10 to Midnight and The Evil that Men Do. I've not seen either one, but I have heard good things about both.
Part IV loses the magic of III and never gains the introspection and interest of part I, and gets stuck somewhere in between.
Part V was really more of the same. Bronson had wanted to wrap up the series after IV, but I guess was swayed back by a heft paycheck or something. A 70-something action star, however, is quite silly though, and he honestly seemed tired. The poor guy looked like he even had trouble lifting his pistol at times, and the stunt doubles were aplenty.
This film had the most fleshed out villains, which was good and bad depending on your perspective. Having unnamed bad guys certainly had its place in the previous films, but at the same time, the lead villain here Tommy O'Shea (Michael Parks - kind of a real actor version of Rowdy Roddy Piper) was believable and really an asshole.
There was a couple cool action sequences, and I felt that overall this film was better made than the previous couple. But despite this fact, the film probably felt more like a standard action film than any other. I'm not sure if I disliked this or part IV more, but it was pretty boring overall, not really bringing anything new or overly-titillating to the table outside of perhaps a remote controlled soccer ball.
I discussed the different feel between part I and part II/1970s action and 1980s action, and this film falls into the same pattern as it felt definitely more like a 90s action film - more character interaction mixed with the action, indoor shooting action which for some reason seems like a 1990s thing more than anything to me for whatever reason, etc. I realize this is probably obvious seeing as they were actually made in these respective decades... but watching them all back-to-back in rapid fire fashion as I did really lets me notice the changes in style from decade to decade... an interesting transition.
Just as the film was ending and my finger is hovering over the stop button so I can just end it once and for all, Bronson walks off into the factory fog, silhouetted in a bright door, and says "Hey Lieutenant, if you need any help, give me a call." At this point I come full circle. This may seem highly odd after what I have just said about Death Wish V, but this line and scene kinda made me a little sad and I immediately missed Paul Kersey, and really Charles Bronson himself. This film was Charles Bronson's final theatrical appearance before his decline in health starting in 1998 to his battle with Alzheimer's to his ultimate death in 2003 from pneumonia. I'm certainly no expert on his films, but I've grown to be quite the fan regardless. This scene for me just went beyond the movie itself.
So there you have it. Death Wish is a series with ups and downs and ups and downs and maybe a little wrinkly of up by the time it ended, but it's an interesting look at the evolution of a series as well as action films throughout three decades. I enjoyed my time revisiting Death Wish as well as experiencing the others for the first time. While I probably would not care to see 4, 5, and possibly 2 again, these are still genre staples that should probably be seen by cult fans at least once!
Original Title: Pembalasan ratu pantai selatan Year: 1988 Director: H. Tjut Djalil Writer: Karr Kruinowz IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095483/ Genre: Action Synopsis: The spirit of an ancient evil queen posesses the body of a young anthropological student, who then goes on a murderous rampage.
When I started watching Lady Terminator, I was concerned that I somehow had obtained the wrong movie. I had heard that it was a ripoff of James Cameron's The Terminator, but what I was watching was set hundreds of years in the past. There was some sort of sorceress that fucks dudes to death and a hero that pulls a DEADLY EEL OF DOOM out of her vag and turns it into wiggly little knife as she curses his family upon escaping.
WTF, right? (And what a douchebag that guy looks like) While this honestly did not feel out of place for an Indonesian horror film, it just was not what I expected. And herein lies my biggest gripe with the film. I suppose I have been spoiled by other Indonesian films from this era that forwent much of the plot and character development for the sake of cramming as much shit blowing up as possible, but this film took quite awhile to get going for me.
Not that it was bad, really... it was fine, especially when this little 80s hottie comes on the scene digging around the South Sea Queen history because she's an "anthropologist" or something. Barbara Anne Constable is not all that great as Tania Wilson, athro-extraordinaire. And I am guessing Djalil realized this as well because 2 minutes after her intro, she's in a bikini smuggling diamonds, out at sea to find the Queen or something.
OK, OK, let's get on with it. There's no real reason given here why Tania is looking for this information, or how the Queen will have her revenge, or
Finally our 80s lady is tied up getting an eel of her own when she finds the Sea Queen's lair under the water or something, and we really get the ball rolling. When Constable is topless and/or mowing down losers with an M16, she's much more entertaining. She comes plodding out of the surf, sexing up two guys to death, then goes on a sour-pussed rampage looking for the historical douchebag's ancestor.
You're not gonna forget Lady Terminator's hilarious looking scowl anytime soon.
Or I guess the vaginal eel either.
Now that the background for this unstoppable monster has been set as well as it can be, the Terminator scenes start pouring in. For the last 2/3 of the film, we get the Indo-action staples with loads of bystanders mowed down, car chases in beat up sedans that scream crash me the moment they appear on screen, squibs exploding by the bucketload. Sure most scenes at this point are essentially stolen straight from Terminator, but they are a lot of fun and over the top, so it still works. There's the rampage in the police station. There's the nightclub shootout (although this time it is very neon and roller-rink hilarious). There's a shopping mall. There's even a car driving into the front of a building, although we unfortunately do not get our Lady Terminator saying "I'll be back."
There's even the eyeball scene, although this time she just appears to be washing off a gooey ping pong ball... and her face hardly even had a mark on it!
There's a cast of side characters that really only run away from/stand up to the Terminator. The ancestor of the douchebag is a bag of sawdust at best, and her savior is equally bad. They have a painfully awkward lovemaking scene where she opens up to him (LITERALLY HAHAHA) and he to her. Of course his wife was killed and blah blah blah. Although they are obviously supposed to be the Kyle and Sarah of this story, you really at this point could care less. Where's the fuckin explosions, man??
Oh yeah, they're back on the tarmac with fakeKyle's redneck buddies Snake and um... Tub? We're introduced to this dynamic duo in a flashback where fakeKyle met his now dead wife and Snake and Tub kick some guys' asses who are harrassing her. Oh, they are fucking terrible but oh so satisfying.
Snake has a mullet that would make Billy Ray Cyrus jealous and an awesome short-cut jean jacket to round off his traditional Canadian tuxedo. Tub?, while lacking the glorious mullet, makes up for it with a gut that surely came from too many Milwaukee's Best binges, some nice curls slicked back on the side, a lovely pedophile stache, and a stonewashed Canadian tuxedo that puts Snake's to shame.
Having these two buddies in there next to the cardboard cutout fakeKyle is a godsend of epic proportions. They have next to a zero role, but just look so ridiculous and have rocket launchers and tanks at their disposal that you can't help but be overjoyed at their brief appearance.
I mean, seriously folks. The only things missing here are boobs and perhaps a grenade launcher.
The film ends up being an interesting combination of a strange Indonesian folklore style tale mixed with the science fiction based Terminator story. She isn't a robot, but rather a possessed demon-type thing. I thought it was a cool twist on the story. Imagine if we had some flying demon heads like you'd see in Queen of Black Magic or something like that. That might be too much terrific for one 80 minute film to contain.
Actually, the Queen of the South Sea, or Nyai Roro Kidul, is a real and popular Indonesian folklore goddess. I'm not sure she had the sex aspect to her story, but she apparently could shapeshift and could make vicious waves in the Indian Ocean. A painting of Nyai Roro Kidul that Lady Terminator draws energy from before banging another poor uzi-toting hotel security guard in the film seems to be a common representation of the goddess.
There's a lot of detail left out as to why Lady Terminator does the sex death thing, or what even happens to the poor bastards she kills this way as blood comes spraying up from their crotch as she is riding them. I did think one chubby guy she kills looked like he was taking a facial in a porn. Awesomely awkward. He really did not want that blood in his mouth and eye!
For some reason I don't feel like my discussing the film here does it justice. I've focused a lot on some downfalls of the overall film, but believe me when I say that it is still very enjoyable. Despite throwing more story and exposition in there than many Indonesian genre films from this same time, it still manages to have the over the top action and be full of trashy fun.
Mondo Macabre has a great dvd of this film out there with special features and a nice restoration.
I'd certainly recommend Lady Terminator to any cult cinema fan.
And what brings me out of my hibernation? Turkish ninjas of course. See, these ninjas are a samurai family that become darkness ninjas after dying. Yeah... zombies?
The fansubs are not perfect either, but who am I to complain about that? I feel very fortunate to be able to watch something like this and not be 100% lost. But really, if you find this without subtitles, you will have almost no trouble following what is going on. It personally drives me nuts to not know, but that's just me.
