THE QUIET FAMILY

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Original Title: Choyonghan kajok
Year: 1998
Director: Ji-woon Kim
Writer: Ji-woon Kim
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0188503/
Genre: Dark Comedy

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synopsis:
A family decides to buy a lodge in a remote hiking area. Their first customer commits suicide and the distraught family buries his body to avoid the bad publicity. But their luck gets worse, the bodies start piling up, and the family becomes frantic to rectify the situation.

While not exactly a Kang-ho Song vehicle, I threw on The Quiet Family last night and had quite a different experience than the previous films I have covered here this month. Faster paced, less stylistic and darkly funny, this one was quite enjoyable! (Obviously the other flicks have been enjoyable for me, just not in the same way)

No delicate shifts going on this time. Right off the bat you get a good sense of the direction this film is headed. A family has purchased a somewhat remote lodge along a hiking trail, work hard to fix it up, but then get no customers. They all sit around awkwardly, watch people walk by without stopping, eat near-silent dinners together.

After a strange seemingly-insane woman comes up to their lodge screaming at an invisible head on the roof, they finally get their first customer. I loved the scene as the family crowds around him, watching him sign the registry, in disbelief that after so long they have their very first customer.

He is mysterious and creepy, and the morning after they literally stumble upon his corpse. He has brutally committed suicide. The father, Tae-gu Kang (In-hwan Park), believes that a police investigation will ruin their already tiny business, so he makes the decision to bury the lonely man's corpse and pretend it never happened.

And hijinx ensue! Ahhh, good ol' hijinx.

What follows is a dark, gory, and often funny romp where one tragic moment leads to another. It made me smile seeing the characters bothered and exhausted from initially hiding bodies, to it becoming just a thing as they become increasingly desensitized to the craziness going on. There is a great moment later in the film where the son Yeong-min, played by Kang-ho Song, brags about his ability to quickly dig a hole. He even offers to quickly bury a kim-chee pot which gets a laugh from his family.

Kang-ho Song is not the main character here... as that is essentially shared by everyone in the 6-member family, but he is definitely funny. He creeps about the lodge, spies on couples having sex, and acts often like a 13-year-old.

What I may like most about Song's role is his facial expressions when irritated or ecstatic. He will talk with his mouth full and laugh a high pitched laugh. I laughed a lot at just some of his deliveries.

A role I really enjoyed was the mother played by Mun-hee Na. She looks like a sweet, older lady, but this mystique is broken quite early with some snarky comments she makes toward people that pass the lodge without actually coming in. I really laughed when she yells after a guy that he will never get laid acting like he is. A standard film would have the mother of the family be hysterical or in denial or something, but Mrs. Kang gets her hands as dirty as the rest of them. I think Na is very good at sometimes giving a deadpan, sarcastic delivery while still showing shock and surprise at some pretty horrific things that pop up throughout the film.

There are some nice moody shots and closeups dispersed here, but largely this film is straight forward in its presentation and its storytelling. Director Ji-woon Kim, who would later go on to direct A Bittersweet Life which I have mentioned, as well as The Good, The Bad, and The Weird which I reviewed, started his directorial career with this film. It's interesting to see him getting his start in dark comedy such as this, and also his film Foul King which I will cover as well, before moving on to films deeper and broader in scope.

I really like his handing of character interactions in the film, and the quick cutting, especially in scenes of violence, really keep the film feeling nervous and frenetic, unlike the name of the film may let on. It's a constant comedy of errors as the family must correct one gruesome mishap after another. As with most comedies, you just take many things with a grain of salt as there are some coincidences that occur to keep things moving along, but ultimately it works.

I enjoyed Kim's choice in music for the film as well. It is largely American artists... punk sounding music and even a song I could sing along with - So Alive by Love and Rockets. Silly, but I love when that happens!

This film is as light-hearted and silly as possible given the subject matter without ever getting ridiculous. There are corpses and fires and people getting stabbed and smashed with shovels, but it never gets heavy and just borders on absurd. It's not perfect, but i definitely enjoyed it for it's quirkiness.

Recommended.

Score: 7.25 / 10

MEMORIES OF MURDER

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Original Title: Salinui chueok
Year: 2003
Director: Joon-ho Bong
Writer: Joon-ho Bong, Kwang-rim Kim, Sung Bo Shim
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0353969/
Genre: Crime, Drama

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synopsis:
South Korea in 1986 under the military dictatorship: Two rural cops and a special detective from the capital investigate a series of brutal rape murder. Their crude measures become more desperate with each new corpse found. Based on a true case.

Kang-ho Song month, limited as it may be, rolls on with another fantastic entry in Memories of Murder. This film, for various reasons, took me forever to finally finish, at no fault whatsoever to the film itself. But I am so glad I finally finished it today!

Since it is his month here afterall, we will start with Mr. Song and his again phenomenal performance. He plays a rural detective, Doo-man Park, who is a little chubby, a little lazy, and a little too sure of his investigative skills. What has fallen into his lap in his little Korean village is a serial murder case that immediately feels much broader in scope than what his limited police office can handle. He doesn't seems to take things as seriously as he should, but the case that finds its way to him sets a change in motion.

Song is so great as he portrays a gradual transformation in Detective Park as the story unfolds. Very funny at times and very frustrated and confused at times, he goes from the corner-cutting clod to a more introspective, serious man as he becomes increasingly involved in this seemingly unsolvable murder. His character is played off nicely against the more serious Detective Seo Tae-Yoon, played by Sang-kyung Kim.

Detective Seo is brought in from Seoul when it becomes apparent to the local police that this serial murder case is beyond their scope. He sits on the sidelines, investigating quietly and seriously while Park and his hothead partner Detective Cho Yong-koo (Roe-ha Kim) torture suspects and plant evidence, trying to just get a confession and end the case easily. Seo claims that documents never lie, and where Park relies on his instinct to do his job, Seo pours over these documents for his. It's a straightforward approach that also begins to shift toward a more Park-like frame of mind as the film progresses.

We can almost see the exact point when the investigation has Seo and Park passing like two trains, as Park grows up and Seo's emotions and frustrations surface and he begins problem solving with his heart as well.

Kim plays an understated role here, almost the opposite of Song's character, until he begins to bubble over as the case frustrates him as well.

Joon-ho Bong does a great job here in constructing this story for the screen. While an ordinary film would have gone the route of the detectives simply trying to solve a case, Bong here makes this story just as much about these two very different detectives morphing as this case becomes more and more frustrating. As with many of the Korean films I have seen from this time, Bong's gradual and delicate storytelling can seem to meander initially, but things compound upon themselves and the ending, while not explosive and decisive, is very impactful.

Is impactful a word? There are a few dropkicks in the film which are definitely impactful. Awesome!

Bong's characters are very interesting, and often shot very closeup in emotional moments. Lesser actors would definitely be exposed in scenes such as these. This along with some beautiful camerawork in outdoor locations make the film a true joy to watch. Cinematographer Hyung-ku Kim definitely deserves much credit for the lighting in some fantastic dark and rainy scenes.

As I said, the story in the first third of the film does feel like dragging feet in a way. As characters are established, I really felt like this was going to be a generic detective story with the little twist of one of the prime investigators being lazy and the other very driven. A little patience goes a long way, and it does seem that this may be a common element in Korean film structure. I do not want to give away any plot points really, but the story is never overly complex, but instead the character interactions are. The true plot becomes the relationships and transformations.

I had similar feelings about JSA: Joint Security Area at first as well, as it starts feeling one way and turns into something quite different and quite remarkable.

I have to highly recommend this film for Kang-ho Song's and Sang-kyung Kim's performances, for it being beautifully shot and very well told. I think any imperfections I may have noticed can come down to a difference in American and Korean storytelling in cinema as well as my watching it unfortunately in a broken schedule.

Grade A filmmaking.

Score: 8.75 / 10

Two awesome posters

I ran across these in my unemployed journeys around the interwebs. They have nothing to do with one another except they both are loved by yours truly.

While very 60s/70s in it's style, this poster for Wrestling Queen, a documentary about the lifestyle and fans of professional wrestling in the 1970s is very well illustrated, and I love that super thin font at the bottom.

This one is quite different. A quirky, near low-brow art poster for what appears to be quite the quirky Japanese film called A Crazy Family.

JSA: JOINT SECURITY AREA

Before I begin here, I want to thank Mr. Coffin Jon of Varied Celluloid (a weekly genre-centric videocast on Livestream) and Large William of The Gentlemen's Guide to Midnite Cinema for helping me out with Korean name structure (?) this week. I honestly had no clue which name was first or last, and was calling people by their first names instead of last simply out of confusion.

So Mr. SONG, this is your theme month.

And Jon and Will, this review is dedicated to you both!

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Original Title: Gongdong gyeongbi guyeok JSA
Year: 2000
Director: Chan-wook Park
Writer: Seong-san Jeong, Hyeon-seok Kim, Mu-yeong Lee, Chan-wook Park, Sang-yeon Park (novel "DMZ")
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0260991/
Genre: Drama

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synopsis:
In the DMZ separating North and South Korea, two North Korean soldiers have been killed, supposedly by one South Korean soldier. But the 11 bullets found in the bodies, together with the 5 remaining bullets in the assassin's magazine clip, amount to 16 bullets for a gun that should normally hold 15 bullets. The investigating Swiss/Swedish team from the neutral countries overseeing the DMZ suspects that another, unknown party was involved - all of which points to some sort of cover up. The truth is much simpler and much more tragic.

I want to be very careful with this review as not to give away the delicate story that unfolds here. This slow reveal of elements of this tale made this truly great to me, and one of the best films I have seen in a long, long time. So at the same time I am wanting to go on and on about it.

I'm also afraid my ramblings will not do the film justice. How about this; if you run into some BS of mine that you just can't get past... just go watch this now.

It is worth your time.

JSA is still part of my Kang-ho Song theme I have running here, and he appears playing a North Korean soldier and one of the three individuals in the middle of an investigation of what exactly happened the one night when two North Korean soldiers are mysteriously killed. If for some odd reason I wasn't a Song fan before, I definitely would be after this role. He is simply phenomenal as Sgt. Oh Kyeong-pil, at the same time fiery and dedicated/loyal. You can see the wide range of emotions he goes through, but at the same time manages to still keep the character private and emotionally even for the most part.

Sgt. Oh is a very interesting character who is older and more experienced than the rest of the major players. He seems to be torn unlike the others in the strength of his contradicting loyalties, but he handles the contradictory emotions more maturely than the others might. You really get the sense through how the character is constructed and through Song's performance that Sgt. Oh is a realist where those around him are quite a bit more ideal. Oh's experience and perspective coming from an oppressive regime shapes his outlook on things.

The other role I want to discuss is another repeat performer on Assorted Loaf here as well: Byung-hun Lee's Sgt. Soo-hyeok Lee. (He played The Bad in The Good, The Bad, and the Weird.)

Sgt. Lee is one of those approaching-idealist characters I just spoke of. That might not really be a fair description, as no one in the film really is an idealist. Sgt. Lee just has a more innocent and optimistic view of how things could be.

He is the other main player in the drama that unfolds after the shooting of the North Korean soldiers, and throughout the film you learn that he is much less experienced in life and in the military than Sgt. Oh is. Where Oh knows what is possible and what is not, Sgt. Lee looks at things more as a child would. Or maybe it is as someone who is from a free society instead of an oppressed one.

Byung-hun does a great job with this role as well, and gives quite a touching performance. I associate it more with his performance from A Bittersweet Life, although this is still different as he wears his heart on his sleeve so to speak here. He deals with real, raw emotions, and you really feel for the character in what he is going through.

The direction of the film, as with Good, Bad, Weird, was the true highlight for me, and that's not to take away one ounce of anything from the performances of Song and Lee. Chan-wook Park is masterful here in my opinion.

Ultimately the story is simple, but it is presented in a deep and complex way. It unfolds gradually and as a result, I felt a bond with those involved. It was a story where after it was over, I found myself wanting to know what happened to certain characters as if they live on outside of the film.

Not only do we get endearing characters, and wonderful (and nostalgic in a way) relationships that form, Park creates an anti-war message in the film that never beats you over the head. It becomes a much larger story of brotherhood, innocence, and how trivial certain conflicts can seem when all it takes is a couple people to start a change.

The filmmaking is never flashy, (I think that could have been problematic with how the story was meant to unfold, so subtle is best) but there are little touches here and there... things you will notice once and then again... nuances in setting or whatever that just add perfectly to a scene. It all shows the great amount of care that went into the film's creation.

One element in particular I really liked was the ever-present signs of conflict even between people who are on the outside close friends. They play games not with dice but with live ammunition. They arm wrestle and push one another around. It's boyish and innocent, but at the same time telling of an underlying tension that goes way beyond themselves and the room they are in.

The film is divided into three distinct acts. The first act will have you feeling like you're watching a military set murder mystery. The neutral team from Sweden is investigating this murder that has increased tensions between two countries who are always seemingly on the brink of physical conflict. The Joint Security Area is impossibly small. I had no idea it was this way, but the military forces from North and South Korea are shown here as divided by a simple line... not a grey neutral area. They keep constant watch over one another, and Maj. Sophie E. Jean (Yeong-ae Lee) is told to be 100% subjective in her investigation as to not raise tension any further.

The second act is largely flashback and builds what truly happened that night. This is when the audience grows close to the characters and everything begins to be seen under a different light. Then obviously the third act is the resolution.

The first act in a way feels like a different movie... especially at first. It lasts awhile, and in hindsight I wish the second act flashbacks just happened a bit sooner. But when things shift in perspective and tone, the change is surprising and I think hits home even more, so my criticism here is probably just silly.

Throughout it all, Park keeps the tension high, makes the characters very endearing and complex, and does an A+ job of showing how so much can balance on one single bullet.

Thinking about this film right now, and while writing this review, I get a little choked up. It is touching and a complexly constructed simple story that still manages to carry a much larger message. The young men here are part of something much bigger, and I could feel their struggle at times. That to me is a successful film.

I feel like male viewers may be able to get into this film more than female because of the type of relationships that are built, but really it can be appreciated by anyone into great filmmaking.

Highly recommended. One of the best films I have seen in a long time.

Score: 9 / 10

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE WEIRD

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Original Title: Joheunnom nabbeunnom isanghannom
Year: 2008
Director: Kim Ji-woon
Writer: Kim Ji-woon, Kim Min-suk
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0901487/
Genre: Western

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synopsis:
The story of three Korean outlaws in 1940s Manchuria and their rivalry to possess a treasure map while being pursued by the Japanese army and Chinese bandits.

If the title of the film alone wasn't enough to clue you in, this is a high budget Korean retelling of sorts of The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. Three less than desirable fellows all pursuing a common "treasure" and dealing with one another along the way. Replace the American military and the Civil War backdrop with Chinese military circa 1930 or 40, and there you have it.

I guess it's "inspired by" the Leone epic.

This is actually the first film I ever watched with Song Kang-ho. He is Yoon Tae-goo or The Weird. In addition to his awesomely frizzy hair, he does a great job acting-wise living up to his name as the offbeat bandit who is just not as slick as the two pros he becomes involved with. This role is what made me want to see more of Kang-ho's work. The character carries around two Walther's, so that automatically gives him some cool points there.

The Weird stumbles across a map early in the film that he believes leads to some great treasure in China.

His role of the three major characters is primarily comic relief. He is the sort that stumbles into trouble, but has a good street sense about him, is willing to be nasty if needed, and some luck apparently, that allows him to be a successful thief. Kang-ho is really a lot of fun as the Weird.

Almost the exact opposite character is the cocky and handsome Park Chang-yi or The Bad, played by Lee Byung-hun. I've seen Byng-hun in other films including the remarkable A Bittersweet Life, another Kim Ji-woon directed film, where he plays a quiet but very efficient bodyguard of sorts. He also plays Storm Shadow in the GI Joe flick from this past summer.

Here, Ji-woon emphasizes Byung-hun's sinister attributes, including a fantastic hairdo to make him a great villain. And that's not to discredit Byung-hun's portrayal by any means. But when you already look like a great villain, it certainly helps. But Byung-hun is nasty and vengeful and really good in this role. I really like the contrast between this character and his character from A Bittersweet Life. He's the cold motherfucker that shoots a mate and just asks if it hurts. Badass!

The Bad has been hired to find a particular map that leads to a treasure somewhere in China. Hmmm... sounds familiar.

Then we come to the least compelling character... at least for me. He is the bounty hunter after both The Weird and The Bad. Park Do-won, or simply The Good, played by Jung Woo-sung, is your typical spaghetti western anti-hero. He is a phenomenal shot 99% of the time with whatever weapon he is using and can perform almost superhuman feats. There is a scene in the film where he is almost flying - or maybe slinging like Spider-Man - through a crudely constructed village. Woo-sung plays this character just as you might expect. He is quiet and efficient and seems private. It's straightforward and not as interesting as the other two, but I suppose you need this character to complete a trio.

His best scene in the film as far as character development go I think comes at a campsite with The Weird. They discuss what they will do with the treasure if they find it, discuss Korea, and life in general. It's a nice scene and sometimes funny... one of the best in the film for being a down moment. We see a human side of The Good, yet he still remains a mystery.

"Life is about chasing and being chased. There is no escape."

The interactions and story of these three is definitely inspired by The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, but in a way it reminded me of Enzo Castellari's film Go Kill and Come Back, which I reviewed here in September. In that film, we also have a bounty hunter pursuing a handsome bandit, but then becomes involved in a treasure hunt as well. Edd Byrnes as a banker in that film doesn't exactly match up as The Ugly or The Weird, but he is the closest of that particular trio to the comic relief role.

The high point for me in the film is the direction and storytelling of Kim Ji-woon. Yes, the overall structure is borrowed, but along with cinematographers Lee Mo-gae and Oh Seung-Chul, he crafts a grand, sweeping tale with so many similarities to the Westerns we all know and love, and a definite Asian flavor with humor and some fantastic costumes and quirky side characters. Not only are there fantastic wide shots, but shaky action, some great indoor lighting, and cool little camera tricks that keep the film very lively.

I particularly like the camerawork in an opium den scene as The Weird slowly becomes inebriated without realizing it. It's slow and subtle as things slowly revolve and shift. Song Kang-ho is really good here also as he gets annoyed with the girls around him blowing smoke in his face.

As the story progresses, things get bigger and bigger in a manner of speaking, as we learn more and more about the treasure map and about all the forces involved in its retrieval. Our characters find themselves even in something much, much larger than anticipated, and it leads to one climactic scene with unbelievable stunts and camerawork.

Some of the scenes are CGI I believe, but it really does not hinder the film. It is all blended very well and is never a distraction.

The setting in 1930s/40s Manchuria is very interesting to me. And old world is meeting a new world, as buildings are constructed from bamboo but the urban crowding is already apparent. Horses run next to jeeps and motorcycles. Pistols fire and traditional weapons fly. (There's even a MAUL in there... incredible.)

These contrasts in eras all meeting together makes this film really unique to me and allows it to stand out from its older siblings.

There are a few issues with the film, but really nothing worth going into in detail. The final standoff (you knew that was coming) goes on a bit long despite some cool twists being thrown in there, but it's a minor gripe. I think things just could have been shaved down a bit more. The film's runtime is 2:15 or so, and this could have just been a little tighter while still having some of those special downtimes.

I had loads of fun with The Good, The Bad, and the Weird and would recommend it to anyone interested in Westerns, Asian cinema, or action films in general. It looks phenomenal, is very well acted, funny at times and bloody and gritty at times.

Great, great effort.

Score: 8.75 / 10

THIRST

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Original Title: Bakjwi (Bat)
Year: 2009
Director:  Park Chan-wook
Writer: Jeong Seo-Gyeong, Park Chan-wook
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0762073/
Genre: Horror

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synopsis:
Beloved and devoted priest from a small town volunteers for a medical experiment which fails and turns him into a vampire. Physical and psychological changes lead to his affair with a wife of his childhood friend who is repressed and tired of her mundane life. The one-time priest falls deeper in despair and depravity. As things turns for worse, he struggles to maintain whats left of his humanity.

Having recently seen this film in the theater, and not initially planning to review it (as with my review of Paranormal Activity a couple weeks ago), this review will probably differ a bit from my norm. Namely, you'll not see my always incredible, entertaining, deftly snapped screen captures, but instead some stills that I blatantly stole from other websites.

Hey, I need some sort of crutch for my writing, and images are the best way I know how without having a monkey in a tuxedo read the review to you.

So this is my first review for Kang-ho month!

Song Kang-ho plays the devoted priest Sang-hyeon mentioned in the synopsis. He is constantly called upon to issue last rites and pray for terminally ill patients in a hospital near his monastery. Sang-hyeon struggles with constantly seeing so much death, and wants to help in some other way. He volunteers for a vaccination trial in some African country for a disease which causes those inflicted to cough up blood, be covered in boils, and seemingly suffocate. No man ever lives ones infected, and Sang-hyeon is no exception as he dies a pretty gruesome death. He is given an accidental transfusion of vampire blood, however, and he is brought back to life.

This sequence sums up much of what I felt about the film. The moments leading up to Sang-hyeon's death are slow and quiet. A doctor explains to him what will most likely happen once he is infected with the virus, and then we see it happen. Park Chan-wook is very good I think in these scenes, as we cringe and feel the stress despite everything feeling so calm. There is a scene with blood pouring from Sang-hyeon's small woodwind instrument that is very jarring.

But on the flip side, despite the well handled scenes and imagery, there are story elements that feel a bit disjointed. It was difficult for me to buy the priest's motivations for taking part in this experiment which he knew would lead to his death. And I'm not sure if I missed it, but I am pretty sure that they never explain where vampire blood even came from or why this team of doctors may have had it. It made Sang-hyeon's "resurrection" feel a bit forced.

As I said, this is in a way how the entire film unfolds. There are some great scenes and some fantastic imagery, but at other times the pacing feels sluggish or just off, the story gets disjointed, and motivations are glossed over for the sake of a little more shock.

Kang-ho is solid as the priest, but at times also a bit underwhelming. I don't think this was a fault of his, but rather how the character is written. There are moments that are very interesting as the priest is dealing with his new vampirisim, but there are other times when he just "does" and it begins to seem very out of character at times. All the while, Kang-ho keeps his calm demeanor so there's not much to go on to figure out the character's intentions. I think it could have been much more interesting had Chan-wook delved much farther into the whole priest struggling with this evil aspect as opposed to focusing on his gory relationship with Tae-joo.

Tae-joo (Kim Ok-vin) ends up being a more interesting character than Priest Sang-hyeon because she starts as a frustrated young lady forced into a pretty mundane and near-abusive lifestyle, and as a result undergoes drastic changes throughout the film. Sang-hyeon knew Tae-joo as a child, and as a vampire now has trouble resisting being around her sexually. The initial moments between the two are done very awkwardly, but in a good way, as they both learn about one another as they come out of their respective shells.

But again, this dynamic gets lost in the shuffle of the film as much time is spent instead on us watching vampire acts, seeing some gore, and getting some very slow paced character development. There are some fantastic scenes in there: Sang-hyeon feeding while lying on a hospital room floor, a "haunting" of sorts from a very wet and snotty apparition... but ultimately the pacing overwhelms them all and they become just a collection of cool moments for me instead of continuing to press themes that are touched upon then forgotten.

I do not want to give some big plot elements about the story away, so I'm not sure how far I can take the discussion. There are definitely bright moments in this story, but at times I really just thought it dragged and it felt very long (2 hours, 13 mins) when all was said and done. There are also some humorous moments in there which creates a change of pace.

I think with some slower scenes edited down, the film could have been better, but I really believe what could have made it a great film was really focusing on how a priest would deal with becoming such an embodiment of evil. As is stands now, I see Thirst as what could have been. It's like a really awesome film wearing an average film's disguise.

I enjoyed it, but wanted it to be so much more.

I'd recommend seeing it, particularly those fans of Chan-wook's work. I did not enjoy it as much as I enjoyed his film Oldboy for instance, another slower paced film, but the images here will linger with you.

Score: 6.75 / 10

Time to get back to it

I know you missed me all my babies!

I'll admit, I stretched myself pretty thin there trying to fill in everything I set for myself in Mexploitation Month. I hope everyone enjoyed the reviews, but know that some of those films were a struggle! That was probably more due to the fact that I was watching them daily.

Anyway, I do love a good theme, so I have decided to review a few films this month with an actor I have only discovered this year and have really grown to like from the few roles I've seen him in.

Mr. Song Kang-ho

Without actively searching him out, in recent months I have seen three films which he starred in, and have several more that he appears in to some degree in my ever-growing to-watch pile.

What better time to watch them than the present, yes?

All of them are Korean, and seem great. I'm obviously not going to be reviewing nearly a film a day as with Mexploitation Month, but let's see where this much abbreviated journey takes us.

Enjoy Kang-ho Month!

SANTA CLAUS

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Original Title: Santa Claus
Year: 1959
Director: René Cardona
Writer: Adolfo Torres Portillo, René Cardona
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053241/
Genre: Horror!!!!!

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synopsis:
With the aid of Merlin, Santa Claus must defeat the evil machinations of the devil Pitch to ruin Xmas.

Surpriiiiise! I saved the scariest until last! Today! Halloween! Eve of El Dia de Muertos! Thank you everyone for reading and commenting and enjoying (cough) my super theme month.

But now, onto the dirty work. I've covered a lot of trash and a few treasures this month, but I have to say Santa Claus, while very weird and entertaining for the wrong reasons, just sucks a fat one as a film.

UGGGGGHHHHH

I was so bored watching this most of the time.

Let's cover the good stuff though for the sake of the holiday. Santa is a fucking weirdo creep! José Elías Moreno plays the jolly one in Cardona's vision of the Christmas legend, and isn't bad I suppose. I mean, Santa is supposed to be a fat fucker that laughs a lot and sneaks into children's homes, and he had that down. This Santa chose to do things a big differently.

Firstly, there are no elves in Toyland, a magical place where Santa's Castle of crystal and gold stands IN OUTER-FUCKIN-SPACE. No North Pole here! So yeah, instead of elves, Santa runs a sweat shop with children from around the world. We are introduced to each region of children helpers as Santa plays his magical organ and makes the bastard children sing shitty songs and play with 50s style toys that kids of today would toss to the side.

Keep an eye out for the children from Africa, as they are presented as dancing, painted savages instead of just some normal clothing like the others had.

Wow.

I mean, the poor kid has a fucking BONE taped to his head!

With the help of his kidnapped child labor, Santa spies on children of the world, looking in on what they are doing with a long eyeball stalk, what they are saying with a satellite dish with a giant ear, and he even has a crystal ball type machine that allows him to watch their dreams!

Who knows what the hell this machine is for.

 (But I kinda want one!)


You know, we grow up with the Santa story, just accepting the fact that he knows if you are naughty or nice. But when a physical process is given to his deducing the information, it just makes it seem like an invasion of privacy instead. I wonder what Santa does when he sees a child discover masturbation for the first time.

What, too much?

Santa likes to play in piles of mail and hang out with Merlin the Wizard as his slaves make thousands of toys for all the children of Earth. Yep, Merlin the Wizard lives with Santa. He makes Santa magic powder to put kids to sleep (yikes) and gives him a flower that makes him invisible (yikes.) Santa conveniently forgets how to use EVERYTHING so Merlin has to explain to Santa (i.e. the audience) how it all works.

Merlin, played by Armando Arriola is so fucking annoying how he trots around and has a chemistry set and fake butterflies. Fuck him in his sparkly dumper. It was pretty funny how he was dubbed however, as it seemed like the writer was making fun of his movements and actions.

Blerg.

So while all the preparations are going on in outer space, Lucifer calls his most trusted demon Pitch out and tells him he needs to go make all the children of Earth evil before Santa arrives. Santa is apparently Satan's main nemesis. Huh, who knew?

Pitch, or El Diablo, is played by José Luis Aguirre 'Trotsky' who seems to be a pretty good slapstick comedy actor. It's hard to tell anyone's actual ability in the film due to my watching a hilarious English dub, but his movements and facial expressions were made for a role like this.

They could have at least found a costume for him that had the zipper on the BACK.

No one can hear Pitch outright, but he whispers in ears and people hear the voice in their subconscious. The classic good conscious, bad conscious, only without the good this time. He can also blow on shit and make it red hot too which was pretty amusing I guess.

And blowing on people as they sleep makes them have nightmares, including a particularly creepy one that he gives a little girl Lupita who is so poor she can't even afford a doll.

Which brings me to another point about the film that is pretty fucked up... the small poor girl Lupita doesn't even know who Santa is. She has the weird fever dream about giant two faced dolls that creepily dance around thanks to Pitch, but she just cant get that one sorry rag doll that she wants. We all know that it is because her parents cannt afford to give her presents, but the story is presupposing that Santa is the gift giver. Why has Santa never given poor Lupita a present before now? Is she bad for only wanting one fucking doll when there is a rich kid so spoiled he only wants a hug from his parents for Christmas.

Santa... child slave owner and classcist fuck.

The movie overall had some really messed up imagery and ideas. I must have enjoyed it on some level because tonight at a party I had a lot of fun describing this oddball image of Santa to several guests. Santa having wind up mechanical deer that turn to dust in the sunlight of Christmas morning, leaving Santa stranded on Earth to starve to death without his ice cream and candy made from clouds was a popular point and one of the odder elements of this version of the Jolly one.

The film was a mess - and I'm not exactly sure how children would even enjoy it. The songs were not catchy at all, and it seemed like the English dub was almost tongue in cheek. Besides the strange ideas portrayed that I loved relaying to others, the structure itself had me wanting to hold that fast forward button. Cardona somehow turned an hour and a half into fucking Lawrence of Arabia or something. Pretty miserable.

This film is worth a watch definitely for the ideas and images. It's probably much better in a group, and I kind of regret not taking the time to show it to my guests this evening. The English dub seems very sarcastic and is a fine way to view the film, because I'm afraid a straight presentation of it would just be too boring.

High recommendation for all the wrong reasons.

Score: 2.25 / 10

And with this, I bring Mexploitation Month to a close. How fitting that the last film is the worst!

EL VIOLADOR INFERNAL

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Original Title: El Violador Infernal (The Hellish Rapist)
Year: 1988
Director: Damián Acosta Esparza
Writer: ?
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0368410/
Genre: Horror

---

synopsis:
A criminal is executed in the electric chair, but some a dark queen brings him back to life, naming him her favorite son. The criminal is now indebted to the demoness and must murder and rape and mark the bodies with a 666 as an offering in order to bring himself power and pleasure and to provide the demoness the same pleasure.

Filthy

This is one of the first films I chose to watch and review for my theme month, but I have been saving it this long because it just seemed so ridiculous. The film is sparse in many areas, but it is a fucking mean spirited story that really doesn't leave you with a pleasant taste in your mouth. Well, not exactly...

The synopsis follows the plot pretty closely. Like the film I watched at the beginning of the month Intrepidos Punks, this film really lacks a strong central plot in favor of a loose narrative that strings together some pretty horrific shit that our main character gets into.

Carlos "El Gato" (Noé Murayama) is being executed as the film opens. As the room empties and we see him sitting there all sleepy faced in his cozy chair, in pops a Vegas inspired Charo look alike with wind blowing through her feathery headdress, using her lazer eye beams of doom to bring Carlos back to life. She makes him promise to pretty much rape and murder and fuck everything up he can find, and to do a lot of drugs, and she will get pleasure out of it as well.

OK, now we're cookin!

Wow those special effects are "special"

And that's just what he does. To be a chubby older guy, he sure moves quick! Twelve hours after his reincarnation, Carlos is already shaking up with some dude, shooting heroin and doing blow. I thought this was a really odd choice to have him start off with a guy, but hey, whatever works. Carlos is an equal-opportunity violador.

Hey, at least the presence of a homosexual character let's us get even trashier when the police inspecting this scene later on get pissed at the "faggots." This movie is something else.

Carlos forces his newly found gay lover to shoot up a shitload of smack despite his protests, and lover immediately thinks he is dying. Carlos gets pissed at him, beats him up, stabs him a few times, then buttfucks him while he is dying.

Yes, you read that correctly.

This character has no qualms about continuing his rapey ways after his victim is dead.

Oh, let's not forget that he carves a crooked little 666 on lover's ass when he is done and leaves him broken and bloody with his shorts around his ankles over the arm of a chair. Classy!

And so we continue with Carlos' adventure as he plows through everyone he sets his eyes on. The set up is usually the same with Carlos providing some way neat drugs, Carlos getting pissed when the freshly drugged victim won't accept his Lord or some shit, Carlos stabbing/raping/stabbing them.

Vegas Charo shows up occasionally as well to remind Carlos of what he is doing, but it's really just an excuse to show off her wardrobe methinks.

Rinse and repeat.

There is a storyline that Esparza tries to shoehorn in there with the gay-bashing detective, but they really have almost zero influence in the overall story. I really think Esparza just did not know where to take this movie after having his "great" scenes with Carlos, and didn't want to just have rape scene after rape scene, so of course we need a "positive" force trying to stop the evil. The detective's acting is very hammy with his gravelly voice and fake Dirty Harry style attitude.

Esparza essentially brings nothing to the table in his direction and shooting of the film. Lines are delivered awkwardly which I am sure is just as much the fault of the writing and direction as the shit actors, and again the thread connecting everything is about as thin as you can get. The final "twist" at the end is very transparent and cheap, but after sitting through some brutal storytelling, I guess it needed to have some sort of different ending regardless of how novice it may be.

All the acting is pretty fucking horrendous. We even get an appearance by Princesa Lea! Remember her from WAAAAAY back in Intrepidos Punks? Well, apparently she likes showing off those casabas of hers as she does another embarrassing performance looking like Dee Snider once again. I'm pretty sure she made my dog growl again also.

There was a first for me when Carlos threw Princesa down a flight of stairs... until today I can say that I have never seen a TOPLESS FEMALE STUNT DOUBLE. I'm sure I have seen body doubles, but never a topless woman with tits far less perky (fake) than our actress crashing through a glass door then tumbling roughly down a flight of stairs.

Mexploitation Month is a month of firsts for everyone!

The look and feel of the film is verrrry cheap. While fake blood seems to be obtained quite easily, there are other effects in there that would have felt dated in the 1950s. We already covered the eyebeams, but Carlos actually adopts this ability also. He can make people and things fly through the air (they swing around obviously on a wire), shit explodes in a shower of sparks, and even fires start. They do the classic "stab off to the side" move when stabbing people except for a few closeups of a knife entering an unidentified mass.

Carlos' violence and rapes do not look all that real either, but it still creates some uncomfortable viewing. Regardless of the realism, having this creep grunting and humping with someone screaming no, no, can definitely be unsettling for many viewers. I would still say viewers uncomfortable with scenes of rape and general misogyny should tread lightly with this film.

the film is pretty much a complete mess, but I suppose that is a good thing because with any amount of realism, this film could very well have been completely over the top poor taste.

As it is now, it's just the diarrhea at the very top of the clogged toilet bowl threatening to run over the sides.

I can't say I disliked the film, but at the same time I think I have desensitized myself even more this month, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. It's poorly written, directed, acted, and features shit effects and just excuse after excuse to show big breasted women be brutalized.

But if that's what you want to see, this will be right up your alley.

Not recommended except for those who know what they are getting into.

Score: 4.5 / 10

I feel like this review was kind of a mess/poorly written. While that may be the case with much of what I write, I just don't feel great about this entry. Maybe it's a reflection of the subject matter, but anyway I just wanted to put that out there. Hope it's at least somewhat coherent!

LADRONES DE TUMBAS

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Original Title: Ladrones de tumbas (Grave Robbers)
Year: 1990
Director: Rubén Galindo Jr.
Writer: Rubén Galindo Jr., Carlos Valdemar
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0282672/
Genre: Horror

---

synopsis:
A group of grave robbers stumble into a crypt which houses the corpse of a vile Satanist killed during the Inquisition long ago. Upon removing an axe from the corpses chest, they inadvertently revive the Satanist who goes on the hunt once again for a virgin suitable to give birth to the Antichrist.

Galindo is back! He brought the slasher and well, not so much the zombies with him!

I kinda had it in my brain, especially with the ending of Cemetery of Terror, that Grave Robbers was going to be a sequel in some way. I didn't read it or anything, but they just seem to No such luck, but it was still a decent little flick that stood fine on its own.

This film provided quite a bit more gore and a more balanced story overall (things started off pretty strong and it more or less kept up the pace), but it lacked that nostalgic feeling for me that I got from Cemetery. That may not be a fair assessment since I watched them 12 hours apart or so, but that was just my gut reaction.

No true kids in this one, only very young adults who rob graves for profit. None of them particularly stood out, but if it weren't for them, then our demonic friend, El Verdugo (Agustín Bernal), would never had had his time in the spotlight. The actors' jobs in this one are really to set the story in motion, then run away screaming or dying. Bernal didn't have much of a speaking part, but his hulking form and sick makeup were quite a sight. In theory I suppose he was a zombie, although he was definitely not mindless as they are so often portrayed. Nice costume on his throughout the film... particularly his face makeup which I thought was pretty cool.

The other role of note was that of the police Captain Lopez (Fernando Almada). Almada did a fine job as the Captain, although nothing to write home about. He played the prototypical horror-hero despite the interesting twist thrown in there early that he wasn't used to firing a gun because nothing really happens in their little town. So you may find it odd that he is getting a local gunsmith to make him a goddamn MACHINE GUN just for fun? Good thing he had it though because El Verduga really needed some useless holes in his chest.

The Captain also stores dynamite in his closet at home.

Yes.

I know.

Militia man in the making.

The story is pretty straightforward and uses many horror conventions that even I the horror novice can see. We have the aforementioned hero, the bad boy turned good, the helpless ladies, the totally illogical choices that serve to move the story along, the ultimate final showdown, etc. There's nothing really new.

The frizzy hair and 80s holdover clothing definitely wasn't new.

While there are some neat little flourishes here and there, Galindo is satisfied just telling the story as is and giving the gore fans what they want. Unlike the other Mexi-horror flicks I have watched recently, this one actually had a few loud music, jump out gotcha scares. This one relied less on the tension build up. Can be cheap, yes, but it's all in good fun.

And speaking of cheap, gore effects do not come so, and the lack of budget shows here. Some people may be frustrated by fake looking effects, but then some of us appreciate them for what they are. You'll get a wide array of fakies here from the extra big torso to the rubber face to the severed hand. The right audience will be smiling the whole way through. The effects lacking gore were not that great either outside the makeup and costumes, but the heart was there so it counts for something.

It is interesting how it seems that Satan is going to be the likely evil culprit in these Mexican horror films as opposed to just say a monster or alien, although there are those around in films also. I've gotten a real sense through the cinema how much bigger religion is in the Mexican lifestyle as it is so very good and evil even down to the scuzzy genre films.

Ladrones de Tumbas was fun, but I just didn't get into it as much as it's older sister Cemetery. While it is good I was not sharing my afternoon with Stiglitz again, for as much talking as there is in this film, no characters are all that compelling, and it did feel like more of the same especially after watching a similar storyline with borrowed horror elements within the same 24-hour period.

I know this comes on a two-fer set with Cemetery, so I may recommend it then. It's worth a watch.

Score: 5.75 / 10

CEMENTERIO DEL TERROR

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Original Title: Cementerio del Terror
Year: 1985
Director: Rubén Galindo Jr.
Writer: Rubén Galindo Jr.
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0218088/
Genre: Horror

---

synopsis:
A professor suspects that a vicious killer may have discovered a way to return from the grave and continue his violent spree. His fears are proved true when a group of teenagers decide to pull a Halloween prank by stealing the killer's body from the morgue. When the teens recite an incantation from an old magic book over the corpse, it begins to come back to life, along with all of the bodies from the nearby cemetery.

I read almost nothing about this film before I watched it and thought it was going to be a straight-up zombie flick from the name. What it ended up being was a the start of a Friday the 13th slasher morphing into a zombie film with a little hint of an Evil Dead, all of which was surprisingly entertaining.

Knowing that Hugo Stiglitz was in this, I admittedly sighed a bit. Hugo and I have been through a lot together this month. I've seen his fuzzy mug about as much as I have seen my wife's face it seems, and I have some to the realization... probably not all that surprisingly... that while his name is awesome, and he is in some entertaining(ly bad) films, the dude cannot act. This sad lack of skill is on display for everyone to see here.

Ugh, the poor guy can't even pretend to sleep! It was almost convincing when the shot started behind his chair, but as soon as you see his face, it looks more like he's pretending to enjoy a toothy BJ than in a deep sleep.

Driving around with a concerned look on his face isn't his strong suit either. And you'll see a lot of that fucking driving. I felt like I was watching the hovering helicopter creeper from Night of 1000 Cats again! If they cut out Stiglitz silently looking back and forth while being awkwardly lit by a hand held camera in the passenger seat, this film would probably be 10 minutes shorter.

His suit is pretty atrocious/awesome though. He needs some Ray Bans with that shit!

Stiglitz "plays" a doctor who is pursuing a former serial killer turned supernaturally possessed fucker Devlon (José Gómez Parcero). Devlon has to be the worst killer name EVER in a horror film. Wow. I must have looked away when they explained why Devlon was now dead and just sitting in a morgue. Honestly, the first half of the film was kind of like that for me. Through the first 40 minutes, I really thought it was going to lose me. They do a lot of setting up with getting the young kids in one place, getting the old kids in another, getting Stiglitz driving around while mouth breathing.

When things get rolling, however, I was a kid with the lights off again. This film may not be the most unique horror flick in the bunch, but it has the gore and the stupid victim syndrome thing in full effect, and it gave me quite a nostalgic feeling as a result.

Devlon is quite the formidable killer. Not only does he slice motherfuckers with his BARE HANDS (no machete here, bitches!) he also seems to have some sort of telekinetic ability as doors slam by themselves and one poor sap meets the wrong end of his own axe.

Devlon's kill music is kind of a combination of Halloween and Friday the 13th with strings and piano AND heavy breathing, but I guess this is probably due to the fact that he is a mash-up of all these American super-slashers... with a little bit of Satan sprinkled on top for good measure.

He don't need no stinkin' mask!

Was that racist?

The story with the children involved really didn't seem all that unique, but it was still satisfying regardless. I guess this film caught me at a good time. Some kids decide to fuck around with a black book they find in an abandoned house and read some Satanic rite over the corpse of Devlon they just stole from the morgue. What a boring night, right? Well, they thought so too, so they head back to the abandoned house when the rain gets heavy and start making out and drinking. Any veteran of 80s slashers knows what happens to teens that drink and fornicate!

Another group of younger kids out trick-or-treating and daring each other to walk to the middle of the creepy cemetery get tied up in the whole sordid Devlon affair also when Devlon bores of the fornicators and heads back to fuck with the kids. Luckily, one kid is wearing his lucky Michael Jackson jacket, so they fare a bit better against our killer.

Again, as with so many of the films I have covered lately, the direction and camerawork is nothing overly impressive, although there are a few nice high and low angle shots in the abandoned house with kills and with revealing Devlon that add a nice dramatic effect.

A difference I have noticed in these Mexican horror films from the American ones I am more familiar with is a lack of the jump out at you, gotcha scares. I am a base level moron when it comes to horror films, so gore and gotchas appeal to me. But these films I have watched, and maybe many more Mexican horror films(?), Cemetery of Terror included, rely much more on old school type scares... mood and slow tension as opposed to something jumping out at you. While this can work for more refined horror tastes I would imagine, it rarely lends any scares for my jaded eyes.

If anyone better versed in Mexican horror films has any input on this, I'd love to hear it!

Just when I had settled in with a supernatural slasher, Devlon throws me a curveball and starts summoning zombies! Now they are really trying to win me over! The zombies have rubber masks obviously, but they look fine, and any zombie appearance helps in my enjoyment. Another thing that adds to enjoyment is watching the director use the same 4 zombies to seem like 40! I swear I saw the same bald, hump-shouldered zombie emerge from a crypt at least 5 times!

This film was a real nostalgic trip for me. I think that people who are bigger horror fans than me may scoff at Cemetery of Terror, but watching it tonight I saw elements of slasher/horror films that I used to love as a kid, and it left a smile on my face. Again, it isn't well acted (lookin at you Stiglitz!) and nothing all that spectacular, but all the little parts were just fun.

Recommended for the old school rip off vibe! And for Hugo Stiglitz' exploding cross of doom!

Score: 5.75 / 10

EL TRONO DEL INFIERNO

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Original Title: El Trono del Infierno (The Throne of Hell)
Year: 1994
Director: Sergio Goyri
Writer: Gilberto de Anda?
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0261367/
Genre: Horror

---

synopsis:
A group of archeologists excavating Aztec ruins in Mexico City uncover a bizarre statue, which unleashes satanic powers and possesses the chief archaeologist. The demonized man goes on a rampage of bloody murders while being pursued by one of his female colleagues and a police officer. Horribly burned in an explosion, he still continues his ungodly crimes, including crucifying a woman upside down. A bishop sends for a mystic called “The Angel”, a character who dresses in medieval clothing and is armed with a demon-destroying sword. The possessed archeologist transforms into a club-wielding monster and challenges The Angel in a duel to the death.

Ahhh, finally a return to form. No cheating, no punches pulled here. Mexploitation that is overly dramatic, filled with issues, gory, etc. and it ruled! This film sounded pretty ridiculous in descriptions and made me a little giddy. I'm so glad it didn't let me down.

Fuck you both, Stuart Whitman and Hugo Stiglitz!

Right off the bat, we are thrown into this supernatural story as the aforementioned archeological group removes a golden seal from the ground, then a strange ruby-eyed jackal statue. This simultaneously causes a solar eclipse, an earthquake, a tornado or some shit, and the awakening of some dude in linen with a mullet that would make Kenny Powers jealous.

Oh, it gets better.

Mr. Mullet, played by director Sergio Goyri, extracts EXCALIBUR and gets on a private jet to go stop all the mad shit that has just been unleashed in Mexico. The Beast, possessing the body of Mr. Jose Juan Jimenez (Roberto Ballesteros) after gruesomely slaying a few losers and even going on a car chase with outdated cars, wants to open the gates of Hell to allow Satan to come through, is Mr. Mullet's target.

This is pure gold.

The performances in the film are what I have wanted for awhile. I don't know if this film is meant to be taken all that seriously, but I love when these Mexican films remind me of the telenovelas that I have mentioned in past reviews. Amateur camera flourishes like the RAPIDZOOMINTOFACE to show surprise, or constant awkward cuts to someone asking for an explanation to something add to the poorly acted scenes.

The overly nerdy Dr. Rosa Maria Castro (Telly Filippini) and the hand cannon sporting detective Moran (Jorge Luke) do most of the talking, and in other context, their performances would be unbearable honestly. Filippini's fake looking lips and exaggerated nerd appearance really had me thinking we were going to see some slutty transformation in her at some point, but no such luck.

I've seen way too much porn apparently.

The best character is the possessed Jose Juan Jimenez. When he is foaming at the mouth, he is OK, but after he stops talking and walks around fucking shit up, he is at his strongest. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about his acting. Far from that actually.

I'm talking about this lumbering guy that jumps out windows, chokes motherfuckers, drives like a maniac, and will blow you up by staring at you. Don't miss his obvious rubber flopping club at the end! Quality!

For a large part of the film, he will be your source of enjoyment while on the other side you are being overwhelmed with exposition from the other characters. Explaination after explanation after explanation... then a little taste of gore!

While the direction and writing may not be the best, Goyri does benefit here from some nice sets and images. I don't know if it is thanks to a higher budget than we've become accustomed to this month, but the sets for instance in caves, inside an old castle, etc. really added to my enjoyment of the film. There were some cheaper type effects like the shaking rooms during an earthquake or the FulciFog® machine action, but these work too in a different way.

In particular, the poor crucified chick in the broken down industrial area is quite nice (in a manner of speaking). This is a well done scene I thought. And there's more FulciFog®!

This film is not very well made, got a little awkward at times due to the constant explanation to what was going on, and certainly not well acted, but I did enjoy it. I felt like I was getting off track (with the exception of Satanico Pandemonium) and this one righted the ship most definitely. It was so over the top at times, I couldn't help but smile.

Definite recommendation if you're looking for a strange Mexi-horror. It doesn't have any real scares, but does well in being bad/good and entertaining.

Score: 6.5 / 10

DEMONOID: MESSENGER OF DEATH

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Original Title: Demonoid: Messenger of Death
Year: 1981
Director: Alfredo Zacarias
Writer: David Lee Fein (writer), F. Amos Powell (writer), Alfredo Zacarias (screenplay, story)
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082257/
Genre: Horror

---

synopsis:
A British woman visits her husband at the Mexican mine he is attempting to reopen and discovers that the workers refuse to enter the mine fearing an ancient curse. The couple enter the mine to prove there is no danger and inadvertently release a demon which possess people's left hands and forces them to behave in a suitably diabolical manner. The only way for a possessed person to free themselves from this torment is to cut off their left hand after which it scurries away in search of its next victim.

blerg....

Hot damn I love this poster though!!!

I've cheated once again... but to my credit this time I really thought this film would be a better Mexploitation example than it actually was. I think my poodle sitting here beside me now has more of a Mexican flavor than this film! From Stuart Whitman making yet another goddamn appearance in my reviews this month, to British Samantha Eggar, and a large part of it actually taking place in Las Angeles I believe, Demonoid certainly felt far more a US production as opposed to a Mexican one.

That said, when it comes to cheap ass horror that is good for a chuckle before anything else, look no further than this one!

Hey, I found something in common with a lot of the cinema I've been reviewing this month!

In fact, Demoid: Messenger of Death was a joint USA/Mexico production, hence the lack of any Mexican lead roles most likely. The film revolves around Eggar's character Jennifer Baines, who has come to Mexico with her husband Mark (Roy Jenson) to help reopen a silver mine. As with many other things about the film, Eggar's performance is neither remarkable or offensive, it's just kinda there. I suppose in a low-budget horror film that speaks for something, but really this month I'm hoping for more in either positive or negative direction.

I can't believe how many films I ended up watching that had Stuart Whitman in them. He is far less gravely and "old school" here as Father Cunningham, which normally would be fine, but a straight laced priest is not what I was hoping for! I want the attitude and melodrama, come on!

All is not lost, as there are some very funny deliveries by other actors in the film, most likely unintentionally. Take for instance the cop speaking before he is getting a plastic surgeon to remove his cursed hand...

"In the name of evil, you and I must obey."

Haha what the fuck does that even mean?

I suppose these humorous deliveries and lines can be attributed more to the writing and direction of Zacarias. This story is one that most definitely sounded good in theory. Characters having a possessed left hand sounded massively entertaining. I love the scene in Evil Dead II when Ash's hand becomes possessed and he has a battle with it. The hand hijinx in Demonoid are similar, but just on a much smaller scale. The special effects are definitely lacking, and while it was fun seeing how each possessed person would ultimately attempt to remove their hand, they all lacked that oomph we are really hoping for, with the exception being the final removal in the film. That one is pretty sweet!

The presentation and shooting of the film is never anything special outside of a few OK dark scenes. As I said with the performances, everything is just kind of middle of the road. Unfortunately this film has never been released on DVD, so this was simply a hazy VHS copy which really doesn't help the cause one bit. Most likely due to the budget constraints and a desire to hide flaws, the scenes with dismembered hand are cut way too quickly. The wiggly rubber hand you do get to see is pretty cool, but probably for the wrong reasons. Some other effects such as the flash of a Devil statue upon possession, or the transformation of the hand initially from dust to a more solid form are just done very clunkily.

Demonoid: Messenger of Death started off strong with a flashback scene containing huge boobs and gore and screaming, hooray!, but ultimately fizzled out by the end for me. The story doesn't make much sense, the characters are not compelling at all, the special effects are often too hidden to give any sort of entertainment value, good or bad, and nothing really stood out besides what could have been.

Moderate recommendedation I suppose if you can find it, but I wouldn't try too hard.

Score: 4.25 / 10

SATANICO PANDEMONIUM

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Original Title: Satanico Pandemonium
Year: 1975
Director: Gilberto Martínez Solares
Writer: Jorge Barragán (story), Adolfo Martínez Solares (adaptation), Gilberto Martínez Solares, (adaptation)
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070636/
Genre: Horror/Nunsploitation

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synopsis:
A young nun is tempted by visions of forbidden sexual fantasies to cross over to Satan.

Well, it's official! I have popped my nunsploitation cherry. Until today, I had never seen a film like this one. I know the basic setup, but just hadn't sat down with one as of yet. Leave it to Mexploitation Month to shatter boundaries!

This film is set in the 17th or 18th century in rural Mexico, but i really think this story could have taken place at any point with only a few things changed. Outside of the costumes and some buildings, the era was very nondescript. Although Luzbel, a.k.a. Lucifer (Enrique Rocha) wouldn't have sported as sweet a cape had it been a more modern tale most likely!

Rocha makes only a few appearances in the film, and has even fewer speaking appearances, but he has a pretty interesting look... sinister and handsome probably as Lucifer really would be.

Sister Maria (Cecilia Pezet) is far and away the centerpiece of the film, and Pezet does quite a good job at portraying the troubles that Sister Maria deals with. From frustration to lustful glances, she is pretty convincing as the tormented nun.
From the very start, she is tempted by this fuzzy man that pops in and out of sight with the symbolic fruit in tote. I wonder why she never eats the fruit yet still goes completely bat shit crazy. Regardless, I think she did a strong job playing both sides of that fence, showing a range from fear to cockiness and back again.

Probably helps that she's easy on the eyes as well, as she has that habit down quite a bit, be it for whipping the piss out of herself while wearing some spiky belt, or enjoying some extracurricular activities like fondling tits, corrupting innocent youth, or shanking a neck prison yard style.

Good times!

The story of the film is solid, but I think it could have gone farther. As it stands, Satanico Pandemonium seems like a good entry level tale in to this particular subgenre, but never quite reaches any point of true shocking exploitation that one may come to expect. Director Gilberto Martínez Solares and cinematographer Jorge Stahl Jr. present the story well with a color palette very reminiscent of some late-60s horror I have seen before. Despite some blatant budgetary limitations (some of the sets like the cellar of the convent and a cave later on were pretty damn cheap), Solares keeps the film moody and dark, and it goes a long way. Shadows cast, dark alleys, etc. all work toward this overall feel.

Some scenes of violence are done quite nicely, including some torture sequences, despite that obvious lack of budget again. You can definitely see the collapsible blade action going on like the toy knife you used to buy at a state fair or Halloween aisle, but they make up for it with copious amounts of blood. No gore really to speak of outside the fake blood, but some images that are definitely memorable.

Later on, the film gets a little silly, which I personally love in these Mexploitation films, but it could have gone a bit far with nuns prancing about playing lutes and eating grapes underneath a glitter painted wooden chandelier. And the ultimate resolution of the film, which I won't give away here, was disappointing to me. It was far too easy, and the sort of solution used too often in poorly written drama.

I don't have much to say about it, but I did think the music was good in the film as well. There was typical organ style score with the classic (and sometimes funny) eerie mad scientist sound effect made by some sort of early electronic instrument I'm sure. I don't know what it is called, but it is something definitely recognizable.

This film had a lot of potential, but I did feel like it could have gone farther. It came off a bit conservative - This feels odd to say since it is after all a story about a convent. But I was really hoping my first foray into nunsploitation would pack a sleazier punch than this one ultimately did. It's not bad, but not great either.

Recommended, although I'm sure there are more notorious nun exploitation horror films around.

Score: 6 / 10

THE CURIOUS DR. HUMPP

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Original Title: La Venganza del Sexo
Year: 1971 (1967)
Director: Emilio Vieyra, Jerald Intrator
Writer: Emilio Vieyra
IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062433/
Genre: Horror/Sexploitation

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synopsis:
This movie is about a doctor who kidnaps people, couples who are having sex. He takes them to his mansion where they are being kept as prisoners. He injects his subjects with a substance to 'enhance' their sexual abilities. The curious doctor then forces the abducted people to have sex. While they are making love he drains a fluid from them. He needs this to prevent himself from being transformed into a monster. He gets his instructions from a talking brain.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

My brain hurts.

And I love that synopsis.

The Curious Dr. Humpp has to be one of the oddest films I have seen. It is like an experimental college art film gone very very awry.

A little disclaimer, this film is not Mexican. It is actually Argentinian, and according to IMDb, it never was released in Mexico> I am totally breaking Mexploitation Month standards! Why am I placing it here? Well, I don't know. I watched it, and it had a very similar vibe to much of the cinema I have partaken in as of late. I just had to write SOMETHING about it after seeing it, plus I wanted a bridge from 60s Mexi-horror to the 70s, and this title came up in my searches in a way.

My headache....vanishing.....

There's so many tits your eyes will go crossed. So I was looking out for Mattsuzaka (Chuck Norris Ate My Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!) in reviewing this as well! Enjoy, my friend.

So yeah, this film. This film is a pitiful vehicle for delivering copious amounts of painfully awkward sex. LOTS of it. Yes, there is nudity to spare, but sex in this film is limited to nipple fondling, heavy breathing, and rubbing one another presumably to the point of chafing.

Even if that bottom is a fuller one, it will get a rubdown in Chateu du Humpp!

I have read that Dr. Humpp has 7 minutes of footage cut from the original Venganza del Sexo, but then 17 minutes of "fucking" added back in. Take this crop/random addition factor and mix in the hilarious English dub script and you have a recipe for DsIuScAcSeTsEsR.

Wow, I can't believe that typing gimmick actually worked. That was a total crapshoot.

I am letting myself off easy with these oddball films, as the acting and directing largely don't require much discussion. They generally are what they are. While this film is a trainwreck on many levels, something about this story is intriguing and keeps you watching. I'm not sure if this can be attributed to Emilio Vieyra or not, at least not his direction, or if it is because sometimes my brain functions as an 11 year old who can't believe there are MOVING boobies on the screen! TEE HEEEE!

The "actors" in the film are all pretty much good looking people. You have a very eclectic collection of sex slaves that Dr. Humpp collects, from a drunken sailor, to the hot blonde obsessively rubbing one out, to the pot-smoking hippies who do nothing but have orgies and get high, to the sultry stripper. No one is really all that painful to look at. This is a good thing, because if you had to watch and listen to them actually acting you might shove screwdrivers into your ears.

Couldn't they have cast lesbians that at least looked like they wanted to kiss one another? That chick on the left is making the same face you would make as you were kissing a piece of dog shit on a bet.

As all these groups are kidnapped by a plastic faced "automatron" (L-O-L), drugged with high doses of aphrodisiacs (L-O-L), and left to bang uncontrollably, another hot nurse comes in and extracts some fluids from the piles of chafed flesh that Dr. Humpp will later drink. This fluid helps him stay young or not melt or something (L-O-L).

Watch in amazement as his age spots disappear in a special effects sequence a 3 year old could have filmed!

The the same time, Humpp believes he can use the power of sex to run the world or something. At least that's what his journal would have us believe.

Science will soon be able to harness sex, the most potent force known to humanity. To increase the mental and physical prowess of coming generations, the virility of men must be increased, and they must be mated with women of insatiable sexual appetites.

And all of this is being orchestrated by a ridiculous looking brain that floats in fizzy water with flashing lights. This brain is probably the best actor in the film, as Dr. Humpp himself (Aldo Barbero) and his hot blonde yet slightle brainwashed assistant (Susana Beltrán) both compete for the most robotic acting, and that is even in comparison to Humpp's horde of SPEECHLESS automatrons.

My brain hurts again.

Ahh, there we go.

It was a creepy performance by Barbero, but so strange in how emotionless and really just bad it was. There are several times he has outbursts, but largely the character is played straight-faced and automatron-like. Yeah, that was a stretch... I just love that word automatron.

And their sexy sweaters aren't bad either.

This film is full of strange camera angles, tricks with fading focus and playing with two images at once. Some of it works, and a lot of it doesn't, but what it does is really add to the trippy feel of it all. Add to this the jazz-injected score that plays throughout much of the film and it makes for a unique experience.

I really think this film would be a very unique experience if viewed under the influence so to speak.

While nothing I saw was groundbreaking, the filming technique employed helped to keep my interest up when I wasn't laughing or looking at tits.

The Curious Dr. Humpp is packed full of very strange but interesting visuals and ideas that all just revolve loosely around an awkward softcore porn base. It very well could have been written as it was being filmed, but I guess there's no way to know for sure. Much about this film is pedestrian, but I couldn't help but watch it all the way through.

You'll keep from being bored just wondering what the fuck is going to creep up next.

Moderate to low recommendation if you're looking for an entertaining film.

Much higher if you're on the hunt for a trippy, quirky film.... with nekkid people... and terrible makeup... and laughable dialogue... and nekkid people...

Score: 5.25 / 10