INTREPIDOS PUNKS

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Original Title: Intrepidos Punks
Year: 1980
Director: Francisco Guerrero
Writer: ?
IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0236328/
Genre: Action/Biker Exploitation

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synopsis:

Um...er...umm... Punks like kill people and rape people and stuff... and cops kinda do their own thing... and there's boobs and blood and motorcycles... the end.

HO
LY
SHEE
IT

This film is about as trashy as you can get. For the artistic-minded film goer, Intrepidos Punks, also known as Fearless Bitches, offers nothing. CERO! For the sleaze-minded film goer, go ahead, whip it out, and start fluffing it up now because you're gonna have a good ol' time.

The plot of Intrepidos Punks is ultra-thin. What it amounts to are scenes of rape, violence, partying with rape and violence, and some cops shooting people from time to time, all chained together by sad dialogue and filler. Lots of filler. Hot dog factory amounts of filler.

You see this screenshot of the punks cheering and having fun? Yeah, you're gonna see a lot of that. They aren't always necessarily having fun, but the director loved to just slowly pan across a line of them and I guess show off their colored hair, face paint, studs, and swastikas. Yeah, I don't quite get that last one either.

This was about the extent of Guerrero's bag of tricks. He can hardly make a film that makes sense much less give any style to it. It is almost completely down to the performances (gulp) and the buckets of hot sleaze.

There is ultimately a story shoehorned in there during literally the last 15 minutes or so, but up until that point all of our characters are kind of doing what they do... be it shooting before asking if you are a cop or raping and pillaging if your hair is dyed and you ride an awesome 3-wheeled motorcycle made from the back half of a VW bug. Trust me when I say this: if you are sticking around for a satisfying plot in this film for more than 10 minutes, then just give up now.

The acting is atrocious as expected. The detectives are just idiots. Throughout the story, they are just given random detective-like tasks to do, like round up groups smuggling stolen merchandise. When they aren't playing weak-ass detectives, they are making terrible jokes and comments about women being hot and banging each other's sisters.

Yeah, thumbs up, douchebags!

Their solution to every single case presented to them seems to be somehow getting close to the offending party (pretty much just walking in), then shoot the shit out of them. Hm, OK? Granted, it makes for some laughs and entertainment. These motherfuckers can shoot a tire and make a car explode in mid-air!

CARSPLOSION!

Yep, it's that kind of movie.

Despite the smiles, it's all pretty stupid and really has NOTHING to do with what is happening with our other party involved.

Oh, you didn't forget about our lovely punks did you? Most of them are forgettable, save our two fearless leaders, the masked Tarzán and the busty Fiera, played by El Fantasma and Princesa Lea.

I had not heard of El Fantasma before, but I had a sneaking suspicion from the moment he was introduced that he was a luchador of some sort. His face is constantly hidden, usually thanks to his absurd studded, dangly mask, he is jacked unlike any of his skinny co-stars, but what set my pro-wrasslin alarm off was seeing him in a fight.

This guy does not fuck around. Punches? Meh! Kicks? Pssht... Judo chop? pussy!

BOOM!

PILE

FUCKIN

DRIVER

Unless it was actually about pro-wrestling... I have never, ever seen a piledriver used in a movie before. I don't think I have ever seen a tombstone piledriver used in cinema at all!

For those of you not in the know, the piledriver is a professional wrestling move in which the wrestler grabs his opponent, turns him upside-down, and drops into a sitting or kneeling position, driving the opponent's head into the mat. The most common piledrivers are the basic belly-to-back, or Texas piledriver, and the belly-to-belly tombstone piledriver, but many more intricate variants are in use.

(Thank you wikipedia for saying that far better than I could!)

I'm glowing.

I gotta say, Intrepidos Punks was entertaining me in a dirty kinda way. But when Tarzan fucks a dude up with a pile driver at a construction site, then bodyslams another ham-and-egger on a big pile of dirt, I was sold. Love it. Oh, Fantasma can't act for shit, but he can look hilarious drinking a Modelo on the back of a car, and that's all we really ask of him after giving us historical cinematic gold. (Historical for me anyway!)

Speaking of gold, we now come to Princesa Lea. Ohhh Princesa seems like a dirty girl. We like dirty girls around here. I know next to nothing about her, but a google search brings up some lovely photos she must have shared with her family.

She's a lot hotter in this porno pose than she was in the film, although she shows plenty of tits there as well. Not too shabby at all on the turd cutter either.

She really looked more like Dee Snider from the early 80s than anything else. Her hair could not have been larger. She raised the value of White Rain by herself that year.

I am not lying when I say that this shot of her made my dog freak out and growl very angrily at the screen. Not even the Dog Whisperer poke in his shoulder with some CHH! CHH! sounds would break his hatred.

Again, she can't act. She may be better than El Fantasma, but we really just want her to show tits and ass and maybe scowl a few times, and we'll be happy.

The rest of the cast, as par with most films such as this, are forgettable. They are all there to eat up the runtime of the film and to just look at least interesting while doing so. They just fight very unconvincingly, yell a lot, and rape or have sex with anyone they can find. With all their clothes on of course. Even the good guys are wearing button-down shirts and slacks when they bang. You may learn from watching this film that the best way to have sex of any kind is to just have a woman's tits out.

There is one rape scene which may rank on the random scale as high as the odd cut-to-poster shot in the rape scene of The Stablizer. While the punks are taking advantage of the jail warden's and owner's wives, a band mysteriously sets up and begins to play their song right there in the living room. We get the notice that the trouble is going to happen, then we cut to a fat dude playing the drums.

It is the band, Three Souls In My Mind, that performs all the music in the entire film I believe, and it's not great. But it's catchy so be warned! INTREPIDOS PUUUUNKS!!

Well, there's my overly-crude and possibly overly-long description of a true piece of cinematic garbage. The redeeming qualities of Intrepidos Punks are not by any means what should make a film "Good." I mean, it isn't good. It's bad. It's inane. It's nasty. It's offensive.

But fuckin-a I liked it.

Score: 6 / 10